Page 78 of Destined for Shadows
Chapter 23
Bartol
Bartol did one last survey of the woods before flashing back to his cabin. It was his habit to check the area after dinner each night to be certain all was safe for the woman he guarded. This evening had been more pleasant than usual because Cori had been cheerful and chatted with him about her day. She didn’t ask him any questions in return, though he’d found himself volunteering information about how his and Melena’s search had gone. It had seemed so normal that for the first time in a long while he forgot his troubles. How was it possible for the human woman to do that to him?
“Are you back?” Cori called out from the bathroom.
Since the door was open, he headed in that direction. “Yes.”
He found her standing in front of the sink, combing her wet hair with the new brush she’d bought during their shopping trip a few days before. She had a blue towel wrapped around her body. This confused him since she’d been careful to get dressed each time after a shower and before leaving the bathroom. He’d supposed it was her way of being considerate to him just like she hadn’t tried kissing him again lately. Why had she changed her behavior now?
“You are not dressed.”
She lifted a brow. “I thought you’d be gone longer.”
“I did not return that much sooner than usual,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “What sort of game are you playing now?”
Cori sighed, and as the breath left her body, the towel slipped. She turned her back to him to re-tie it, and he caught a glimpse of the uppermost part of her tattoo. It looked like the top of someone’s head with flowing hair. Mesmerized by the design, he found himself moving forward without thinking and tracing his finger across it.
“What are you…?” Cori shivered as he continued to touch her and glanced over her shoulder. “What are you doing?”
“I want to see all of it.”
She ducked her head, but before that he caught the rare show of vulnerability on her features he found alluring. Her voice came out a whisper, “I don’t let anyone see it.”
“What would it take to allow me?” he asked. At that moment, he would have given her anything. He couldn’t have taken his hands from her right then if he wanted.
Cori didn’t answer right away. “Tell me the real reason you have intimacy issues because I know it’s not just from Kerbasi torturing you, or Lucas would be nearly as bad off.”
“It is not something you want to know, trust me.” If he could have expunged it from his own mind, he would have.
She half turned toward him. “Tell me anyway.”
“Let me see the tattoo first,” he said, pressing his palm to her back.
“No.” Cori shrugged him off. “If I don’t hold up my end of the deal, it would only take you a second to drop this towel and look at my back. If you don’t hold up yours, I can’t force the story out of you.”
She probably could if she tried hard enough, but Bartol would not tell her she had that kind of power over him. He wished she would have asked for anything else, but he also recognized that it might be good for her to know. Cori needed to understand why he wasn’t like other men and never could be.
“While I was in Purgatory,” he began, feeling her stiffen under his palm. “Kerbasi not only tortured me physically. He manipulated my mind as well. Each time I was taken for a session with him, he would steal an intimate memory from me. I would be forced to relive it, but with the horrible changes he made.”
Cori sucked in a breath. “What kind of changes?”
“He turned the women I had sex with into ferocious monsters and made me think they were the ones torturing me instead of him. One by one, over the course of nearly a century, he ruined almost every intimate encounter I’ve ever had so that few good memories are left. He made certain I would associate sex with being tormented and helpless.” Bartol took a step back. “That is why touch bothers me so much.”
There. He’d said it. Now she would know the truth, and why he was no good for her.
Cori’s eyes misted. “Why would Kerbasi do such a thing?”
“It was one of his favorite punishments because I slept with an angel. My memories of Clarissa were the first he ruined,” Bartol answered, doing his best to keep his tone even and simply state the facts. He did not want Cori to feel sorry for him when it was hardly her fault.
“Did you care for…Clarissa?” she asked.
“No more than I did for any of my other lovers. She passed the time, but that is all.” Bartol had already said enough about his past for one day, and he did not want to get into the same explanation he gave Melena earlier. That could wait for another time if he decided it was worth mentioning.
“Thank you for telling me,” Cori said, gazing up at him. “It means a lot.”
Then she turned away and dropped the towel. Bartol sucked in a breath, finally able to see the full design on Cori’s back. It was a vivid sketch of her daughter, Faith, done in black ink. The little girl’s hair flowed around her head, and she had the sweetest smile on her face. The artist who had done the tattoo even managed to catch the twinkle in her eyes. Bartol traced his way down from where it started at Cori’s shoulder blades to the inward curve of her lower back.
