Page 55 of The Survivor
She cleaned up, then left the bathroom. Blake was waiting for her in the hallway, his gaze concerned, but she didn’t see him. All she saw was the red haze of fury before her eyes.
“I’m going to kill him,” she whispered.
“Let’s go and sit down so we could talk about—”
“I don’t want to sit down! I’m going to kill that son of a bitch, Blake!” She released a shaky breath. “He did this to her.Hedid it, and I’m not going to rest until I watch him die.”
The concern on his face deepened, and she knew she must look and sound like a crazy person right now. Her face was stained with tears, her hair had fallen out of the loose bun she’d twisted it in and was now sticking to her cheeks and eyes. She’d never experienced wrath like this before—blinding, hot, all-consuming. Although she tried not to, she couldn’t stop picturing Elaine, how she must have looked when MelanieBarnes had found her, how hopeless and scared she must have felt when she decided to take her own life.
Had she done it right after they’d gotten off the phone last night? Or had she woken up this morning and known, justknown,that she couldn’t keep going?
The answer to either of those questions didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except that the man who’d almost killed Sam had claimed another victim.
“Sam, you need to calm down,” Blake said softly. “I know this hurts, but—”
“But you’d prefer I bury the hurt deep inside?” she shot back. “That is your standard operating procedure, isn’t it?”
Shock filled his features, yet he didn’t argue. They both knew she was right, but being right didn’t make her feel one bit better. From the moment she’d met him, she’d sensed that Blake was closed off, that his unwavering control and the cool mask he liked to wear were his way of dealing with the pain in his life. She understood, because, hell, hadn’t she been doing the same thing these past six months? Putting on an indifferent front and pretending she wasn’t hurting anymore?
Well, she was sick of doing it, and she was sick of watching Blake pretend. How could he make love to her as if she were the only woman in the world who mattered and then tell her in that irritatingly professional voice that their relationship wouldn’t go any further?
God help her, but she wanted to be with this man, no matter how infuriating he could be and no matter how many times he tried convincing her that he wasn’t right for her. And maybe theywereall wrong for each other, maybe this entire crazy situation was clouding her judgment, but at the moment she didn’t give a damn.
She wasangry.At Blake. At Elaine. At the Rose Killer. And she wasn’t about to pretend to be anythingbutangry.
“You weren’t being fair last night,” she found herself bursting out.
Discomfort practically seeped from his pores. He raked one hand through his dark hair then rubbed his forehead. “Let’s not do this right now, Sam.”
“No,let’s.” She frowned. “You can’t just decide you don’t want me anymore and then expect me to smile and laugh and act like it doesn’t matter.”
“You think I don’t want you?” He laughed harshly. “God, Sam, I want you so bad it’s driving me crazy! I’ve been walking around hot for you from the day we met—and you think I don’t know how wrong that is? You’re a witness, and a victim—”
“I’m a woman!” she roared. Her cheeks burned with insult. “Deal with it, Blake, and quit hiding behind excuses and convoluted notions about me deserving better.” She took a calming breath. “You can’t tell me you don’t see what’s happening between us.”
His jaw tensed. “Sex. That’s what happened between us.”
She stared at him in disbelief. “You honestly believe that’s all it is?” When he didn’t answer, she curled her hands into fists and stalked past him, heading for the stairs. “You’re a son of a bitch, Blake Corwin.”
She’d only taken two steps when his warm hand grasped her arm. She spun around. From her perch on the staircase she was a good foot taller than he was and she looked down at him with daggers in her eyes.
“I’m sorry. Goddammit, you’re right, I didn’t mean it,” he squeezed out.
The pain flickering in his whiskey eyes was so visceral that her gaze softened, along with her body. A shaky breath rolled out of her chest and before she could second-guess herself she touched his jaw and gently trailed her fingers across it. “It’s okay,” she said with a sigh.
“No, it’s not.” He made a strangled sound and then his arms were wrapping around her. Her higher position offered a strange sense of power, as Blake nestled his face against her breasts, his silky brown hair tickling the bottom of her chin.
She ran her fingers through that gorgeous hair and breathed in the scent of his woodsy shampoo. Something inside her began to stir and the warmth spreading across her skin shocked the hell out of her. God, this wasn’t the time to want this.
“It’s more than sex for me,” he said, his warm breath fanning over her collarbone and sizzling right through the ribbed fabric of her turtleneck. “If it were, I wouldn’t be so damn terrified right now.”
He lifted his head and the kaleidoscope of emotions swirling in his eyes sucked the breath right out of her lungs. She saw his passion and desire, his admiration and respect, and God help her, she sawlove.He might never say the words aloud, but she saw the love in his eyes, so naked and strong that she nearly keeled over from the force of it.
She knew he probably wouldn’t change his mind—he honestly believed that she deserved a life that couldn’t be threatened by him or his job—but at the moment it didn’t matter. Blake Corwin cared for her more than he was willing to admit, helovedher, and it was probably time to face the fact that she loved him, too.
“Sam?”
She blinked, found him looking up at her with those serious brown eyes. Wondered if he sensed—and understood—the current of emotions crackling between them.
