Page 93 of In Need of a Duke
“What else would I be doing?”
Ian glanced around, breathing a sigh of relief when he noticed there were no empty glasses or bottles. “Would you like something to eat?” He held up a handkerchief stuffed with scones he had grabbed from the kitchen.
His brother shrugged, then groaned.
“Are you still uncomfortable? I can ring?—”
“Stop fussing over me, Ian. Christ, I never knew you cared about me so much.”
“Of course.” He stopped himself, shaking his head before tearing his gaze away to stare at the carpet. “I am trying if you will allow it.”
Nathaniel scratched his temple as though weary. “I will be on my way soon enough. I don’t wish to impose on you and Lottie any longer.”
Ian sank down on the sofa next to his brother and shoved the scones in Nathaniel’s direction. “You’re not a bother.”
His brother glanced sideways before reluctantly grabbing a scone and taking a nibble. “Why are you up?”
What was the point in lying? He settled for the truth. Since Charlotte’s accident, he hardly slept through the night, always worried something was about to go worse, even when matters were much improved between them. “Can’t sleep.”
“Not sure why. Lottie…”
“Don’t finish that thought,” he grunted. Ian grabbed a scone himself and took a big bite before sitting back on the sofa. “I love her. You know that. But something has been bothering me.”
“I feel a lecture coming on.”
“No, no lecture. It’s only… I need you to find some direction.”
His brother scoffed. “Direction? You’re the damn duke. You lead, and I hang in the shadows.”
“I hardly call getting stabbed at a brothel in the West End hanging in the shadows. Or the gambling debts, the racing, and subsequent accidents. Certainly not the drinking.”
“If it had been reversed, and you saw someone go after Charlotte, would you have stood by and allowed it to happen?”
“I’d burn down London.”
Nathaniel shrugged. “Well, that would work, too, I guess.”
Ian shook his head, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “I know what you are asking. If it had been Charlotte in Arabella’s place, I would have taken her place. I would have taken a knife, a bullet, been knocked senseless if it meant she would remain unharmed. And then I would have seen that they couldn’t touch anyone else again when I came to.”
Nathaniel chuckled. “I knew you were grumpy, but I had no idea you could be so grim.”
“Time,” Ian said, pushing past the knot of regret lodged in his throat. “I’ve wasted a lot of it. Foolish maybe, but there was this green velvet armchair next to Mother’s bed before she died. I hated it.” He shuddered. “It took me sitting there the last few weeks, slowly saying goodbye, to realize it’s not infinite.”
“I will be fine.”
“From being stabbed? Sure, you will recover. You’re lucky on that count. But what’s next? Is Monty going to come knocking on my door, or will I receive a letter that you’ve been found dead in a gutter?” He sighed. “Listen, I saw Blackwell recently, and it’s like I sat across from a ghost. The man might be here, but he’s given up a long time ago.” Ian turned to his brother, meeting his defeated stare. “I don’t want the same to happen to you.”
“What does it matter?”
“It matters, Nate. You matter.”
Nate shoved aside his scone and frowned. “Suddenly you want me around?”
“I realize I haven’t been the best at telling anyone I want them around. I’m trying now to fix that. Do you love her?”
Nathaniel swallowed hard and shut his eyes. “She is gorgeous and so damn perfect. So witty and I swear she demands everyone’s attention the moment she walks into a room. But she has landed herself in trouble, and I can’t get out of my own way, and I think I failed her. That’s all to say, yes, I love her.”
“Good, because I hope that will help you understand. You will inherit the title.”
