Page 55 of In Search of a Husband
Once,her mother had insisted upon a visit to the new modiste in Town. And she had been pinned and poked and measured. And because she had been so tall, her mother and modiste complained about her height and her proportions while she stood still and remained quiet, as expected.
As they prepared her for her wedding trousseau.
It was incredibly warm in the shop, and her boots were new so they pinched her feet, and she remembered how her stomach soured as her mother spoke about her as if she weren’t there.
As if she were about to be a prize to win on the London marriage mart.
This morning, she awoke with her head pounding and her stomach topsy-turvy… and a very large dog sleeping beside her.
Kate bolted upright, the panic almost a temporary cure for the nausea that rolled over her. She slammed her eyes shut and softly reclined back into bed, wishing to hide beneath the covers.
Except she wasn’t in her room.
She rubbed her cheek against the soft linen pillowcase, frustrated that she could smell Gabriel. No, dreading that she could because shewas still dressed, and he wasn’t there beside her, but she couldn’t remember what happened fully last night.
Only that Elsie had arrived, and they had decided to test the whisky stashed in the crates that Gabriel had left by the table in the great hall—after Elsie had whisked in and saw the girls off to bed with no trouble.
“Oscar, I am the world’s largest idiot.”
She wiped at her eyes, then rolled over to the sleeping dog beside her.
“Whatever you do, it may be best if you are not involved with my decision making. Apparently, I am not to be trusted.”
It wasn’t only feeling horrible that gnawed at her now. It was shame.
Filtered sunlight danced through the curtains as a soft, chilly breeze blew in. That was probably for the best as she was certain she smelled. She could taste the sick in her dry mouth.
“I’ve mucked it up now.” Kate flopped back into the pillow and covered her eyes with the back of her arm and waited for the bed to stop moving or her head to stop feeling as if it were being squeezed in a vice.
“Mucked what up?”
Drat.
“I will pack my things,” she said, still hiding behind her arm. “And I will say my goodbyes and leave. I apologize for my behavior.”
“Kate?”
She loved her name on his lips. She would miss hearing it. And she would miss kissing the man, but since he had hidden away after that night in the kitchen, he must not have felt the same.
“I dinna wish for ye to leave.”
“You are a lot of things, Gabriel, but ridiculous isn’t one of them.”
She was surprised by the sound of his warm snicker. If only he had allowed her to know him, she was certain they would have been excellent friends. Instead, he was always rushing about as if he were running out of time, and she was stuck standing still, desperatelytrying to find a place in the world that could be her own now that she had lost everything.
But he had seen her.
And she enjoyed that kiss. She had dreamed of it, in fact, until she hated him for disappearing.
And now she supposed he hated her for her horrible behavior and lack of decorum.
Wait…
She propped herself up on her elbows, finally seeking out the source of his voice, only to catch him buttoning up his shirt in the doorway of the adjoining dressing room.
“I can’t believe I have to ask this…” She swallowed, certain she would be sick. “Did I… I mean did you and I…” Kate waved her hand in the vast distance between them.
“Ye ruined my boots,” he grumbled, not turning around.
