Page 94 of In Search of a Husband
She wasn’t certain what she was looking for.
Only…something.
She didn’t wish to return to London. And she also knew that her parents wouldn’t leave without her returning with them.
She’d always done as her parents expected of her, which was partly why they had been so upset after the scandal. She had always been what they considered good. And then, because of one misjudgment, she was suddenly bad. Except beyond being bad, immoral, failing, she was ruined. And the marquess had been allowed to heal and recover from nearly dying in that duel that evening, without anything tarnishing his reputation further. In fact, most of London waited with bated breath to see if he would even survive. The man they loved to call a scoundrel and London’s most notorious rake was a bit of a beloved martyr in the whole affair.
Somehow, it had been her fault that he had been shot. Her fault that they were discovered in the garden, and for being so forward, and wearing a dress so daring. It was only natural for him to follow his male instincts.
And that was why she had truly left London. Not because she was embarrassed, though she was. No, she had left London because remaining only vilified her and allowed others to control her story. And considering they didn’t know the truth or refused to believe it, she didn’t think it fair to hand over her life to their silly commentary.
There was a soft knock before Elsie popped her head into the room. “May I come in?”
“Hasn’t stopped you before.”
“Did ye get any sleep?” she asked.
Kate shook her head, setting Ben down on the bench by the window. She draped a quilt over him as he curled up so he would remain warm.
“I couldna sleep either,” Elsie finally said. “My brother never came home last night. That isna like him. I think he’s worried.”
Kate looked up, surprised. “Worried?”
“I dinna think he wants to lose ye,” Elsie said.
“Why would he—” Kate laughed, barely finishing her sentence because it was ridiculous. She was certain Gabriel had entered the inn’s main room to propose. She had felt it—the way he looked at her there as the rest of the crowd laughed and sang and danced. But howhe looked at her, as if nothing else mattered, made her certain of it. And just as suddenly, it all seemed to crumble away.
“I wish I could go back to bed,” Kate confessed. “I don’t wish to go down there and confront my parents. And I don’t want to see the marquess.”
“He’s handsome,” Elsie drummed her fingers over her lips and waggled her thick brows.
“He’s a rake through and through. And I have learned that a lady should always avoid the rake.”
“But can a lady look?” Elsie inquired with a laugh.
Kate nodded. “I suppose. But that is how the trouble begins. He’s very charming. And he oozes confidence. And then he lures you in.”
“I wish to belured.”
“I thought so once, too.” Kate sat on the bench, dropped her elbows to her knees, and rested her head in her hands and sighed. “Best to get this over with.”
“I’ll stay,” Elsie placed a hand on her shoulder. “I will be right there,” she said. “I suggest ye hear yer parents out. No more, no less. They’ve traveled a long way, and they’re eager to see ye. And they must fear for ye being here in the Highlands.”
“The swans are brutal. I understand their concern.”
Elsie laughed, grabbing Kate’s hand and dragging her forward. “My life was far less interesting without ye. Ye canna leave. That’s an order. No matter what yer parents say, ye must stay with me. Besides, the girls would be devastated.”
Kate knew there was truth to that. It had taken awhile, but Maisie and Lorna had not only warmed up to her being their governess, but they had begun looking at her as if she were a close family friend. And the surprise of it was, she didn’t wish to leave them either.
“And Gabe…”
“I’ve always done as my parents asked.”
“That was before,” Elsie said. “A lot has happened since I arrived in Scotland. And ye have a lot to show for it.”
“None of it will matter to my parents. They have only ever wantedme to be a wife. I was a prize to them, to be sold off. And since my chances were ruined, they had no interest in me.”
“Except they arrived with the marquess…”
