Page 100 of In Search of a Husband
“You’re afraid, darling. I understand. I do.” She wiped at her cheeks and sighed. “I am trying to tell you if you only listen that I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here with you?—”
But that wouldn’t be fair.
“Scotland was never going to be yer home. This was never meant to be yer life. Ye ran here and now ye can run back to London and make yer family happy by marrying the marquess.”
“Will you stop saying that? I don’t want to marry the marquess or return with my parents. I have found a place here at Dunsmuir with you, and the girls, and Elsie. I have worked tirelessly to reopen the inn and sort out matters for the distillery. And you think I wish to leave all that behind?”
“Ye achieved what ye sought. And now ye can leave.”
“I can’t believe this. You truly believe I am remaining here out of obligation? Obligation to whom?”
When he didn’t answer, she rubbed her arms as he remained cold and distant.
She was clever and far too kind and spirited to leave her to the same fate as his mother. He had hated watching the life slowly fade from her eyes over the years as she grew more and more isolated, shutting herself away to wallow in her grief.
“That is all? I am to leave then because my parents wish me to?”
“Ye must. Ye canna remain here. I am letting ye go, and I thank ye for yer services.”
Kate backed away toward the door, wiping once more at her eyes. “Very well.” She rested her hand against her chest. “But don’t you dare call me a coward. I thought you at least cared for me, recognized I was brave enough to live every day, which is more than I can say for you. You wish to prove you can accomplish so much and keep everything so well locked away. But you will end up with nothing. The only person you are trying to prove is worthy is yourself, and I can’t make you believe that. You have to believe that for yourself.”
She slipped out the door leaving Gabriel at his desk. After a minute, or maybe several, he leaned forward and rested his head onhis outstretched arm, swallowing back a scream and the urge not to clear his desk with the sweep of his hand.
Let her leave.
Her heart would be much better off far away from Scotland, even if his was now shattered.
CHAPTER 27
Kate brushedher fingers against the back of her eyes as she strode down the hall to her parents in the morning room.
“I need one hour,” she declared.
“Pardon?” Her mother glanced up from an open book in her lap. She couldn’t remember her mother ever reading anything besides the gossip columns.
“I need one hour to pack, and then we can depart.”
“You’ve accepted the marquess’s pro?—?”
“I didn’t hear a proposal,” she interrupted her father. “No, we will not be marrying, but I will return to London with you, nevertheless.”
She held up her hand as her father’s face grew red, and he began to sputter. Her mother slammed the book shut, exasperated.
“It is a good match. You are making a grave mistake, Katherine. Again.”
“You can convince me in the carriage,” she called out over her shoulder, taking the stairs two at a time.
Nearly six hundred miles with her parents and the rake who ruined her. That was her own personal hell. But to be tossed aside so quickly…
Gabriel had been about to propose only a day earlier. But at thefirst sign she could leave, he accepted it and pushed her away. As if he had always expected it. Let him wallow. Let him stew and think of what it would be like to not have her in his life. And perhaps he would fight for what he truly wanted.
Always so afraid of others’ judgment.
Ben didn’t budge as she pushed through the door to her room. He remained curled in a ball on her bed, almost as if he were frozen in that position. His poor old bones twisted from the deep cold creeping in, summoning the first biting days of early winter.
What she would do in London once she returned, she wasn’t certain, but she knew she couldn’t remain in Scotland.
“Stay there, Ben.” She wrapped a blanket around the cat once more and scratched the top of his head. He opened one eye before falling asleep. “I knew you’d come around, you grumpy old cat. Tell them you enjoy a saucer of cream now and again.”
