Page 93 of In Want of a Wife
And it showed.
“That’s a nice jacket.” Rafe stood still as Liam paced the small room, then peeked out the window to the busy street below.
“I wrote. A few times. Figured you could write a good friend back.”
“I’ve been… busy,” Rafe settled on at last.
“So I’ve heard.”
How was it that everyone in his life knew everything about him all the time?
Liam scratched his jaw, his brilliant blue eyes shining brightly beneath two thick ashy brown brows. “What’s your decision? Visited the admiral this morning, and he told me the arrangement. Seems like you’ve nothing to lose by agreeing, yes?”
Rafe had everything to lose. He might not love the Navy, but it fed him and paid him, and he hadn’t a worry about whether his wages would be enough because he needed little else. But retiring meant asmall pension, very small, and no guarantee after that. He would need to find a place to live in London.
And Lily.
If he remained, he might have a chance at making things right with Lily. But if he accepted and sailed to India, they would be finished. He might finally have secured a salary large enough to support a family, but he would be gone for months, maybe years at a time. And as much as he loved the sea, how could he manage to leave his heart behind again and again?
Rafe walked to the small dining table, grabbed the loaf of bread he had bought the day before, broke off a piece, and took a bite. It wasn’t a scone, but his life had been far from ideal lately.
“It’s an interesting proposition.”
“Interesting?” Liam waved his arms incredulously. “It’s more than interesting. I’m asking if you’d like to join the team and help build a fleet of ships that are faster than what’s available now. The war is over, and everything is changing. There’s opportunity right in front of us, and we both know you can’t stand following rules.”
“The admiral said as much last night.”
They both laughed until silence settled in.
“It’s a big ask, Hawkins. I am comfortable where I am, and rumor is, I’ll be captain soon.”
“I know what the rumor is.”
“Of course you do,” Rafe grumbled. “I imagined I would become a naval captain like my father. And I am so close.”
And yet, he didn’t wish to become captain.
He didn’t wish to spend his years at sea, away from those he loved. Rafe had had an honorable career, and if he continued to keep busy, he could retire and transition into something just as respectable. He had no interest in wasting his time drinking and gambling any longer. He was restless for something more, something far more fulfilling than being a constant disappointment to his family.
“Listen, I won’t beg, but I trust you Rafe. I know you’ll work as hard as me. I refuse to live small, and to hell with anyone who saysotherwise. I might have been born in Sligo, but I don’t mean to die there.”
Rafe expected to live and die by the Navy. Maybe because he had seen too many die to think he would have found that small sliver of time where he would live beyond the confines of a ship. He expected it, but he hadn’t wanted it for a long time.
“We would be partners? Fifty-fifty?”
“I figure with your experience, you can manage the drafting and building of our fleet of ships, and I will secure the investors. It will be a steep hill to climb to become profitable, but I see this being a very successful venture.”
It was a good offer, a solid offer. He felt everything within him tense as if ready to jump. Rafe glanced over to the table once more. A half-eaten loaf of bread sat beside a few fresh peaches and an advertisement he had cut out ofThe Timesearlier that week. “Where would we be based?”
“That is why I am here.” Liam circled the brim over his top hat with his hands. “I am on my way to see a potential office space. I thought it only right to ask if you would like to join.”
When he had visited his mother in Wales, she reminded him about being made for adventure. What would that look like if he chose to remain here in London and start a shipping company with Liam? He wasn’t certain, but he knew remaining in the Navy would be more of what he had done for the past eighteen years.
Rafe rested his forehead in his hand for a moment, the other on his hip. With a steadying breath, he opened his eyes and held out his hand toward Hawkins.
“Very well. I believe we have some ships to build, partner.”
CHAPTER 16
