Page 9 of In Want of a Wife
“No, Papa,” she said, pushing through his office door.
He sat at his desk, hunched over a book with a magnifying glass.
“No?”
“I feel it’s time we discuss what happened, and more importantly, what’s to happen now.” She curled her toes into the carpet, desperate to tie herself to the middle of his world and not be brushed aside as he so often did.
“It will have to wait. I’m preoccupied at the moment.”
“I am nearly twenty-five, Father. I do not have the privilege of waiting.”
Her father sat up, peering at her with the magnifying glass clutched in his hands. “What did you say?”
“Father, I have done everything you asked of me. I have waited to marry the man you have arranged for me, and twice now, I have been left at the altar.”
“That is because of a deficiency in your character, not a fault of my own.”
Even as the ache in her chest deepened, she clenched her hands and held her head high. “You have spent my dowry.” She waved around his office as if it was explanation enough. Stuffed mallards were more important than seeing his eldest daughter married.
An ugly laugh scraped out of his throat, and he finally tossed the magnifying glass down and pushed back in his seat, studying her.
“I am a wealthy man, and I can easily replace it.”
“That may be the case, but will you?”
“It’s late, Lily. And this isn’t a matter you should concern yourself with. You’ve done enough damage to the family name this week.”
But she hadn’t. She wouldn’t let him convince her otherwise. She had done everything required of her.
“I was at the church, Father, ready to marry. My trunks were packed, and I was prepared to leave this family… this house… because you arranged for me to do so. You told me it was an excellent match. How am I at fault?”
Before he answered, she was struck with the pain in his eyes.
She would never replace her mother.
“It is your character, Lily. You traipse around here with your telescope, reading your scientific texts, and speaking as if you were a man about things far too dangerous for a woman to know. You scared him away.”
“And yet you’ve allowed me to?—”
“Your mother would have known how to handle you far better than I ever have.”
Lily forced a smile, but it hurt her cheeks to do so. Her eyes stung, and she was certain her chest was filled with nothing but dread. As long as she remained in her father’s household, she would serve as a reminder to the love he lost. Lily was too much like her mother for him to ever see her as her own person.
“I will never be Mother. I can never replace her, Father, no matter how much you wish for it.”
He muttered under his breath, waving his hand as if dismissing her.
No, she couldn’t allow it tonight.
She clenched her fists at her side, keeping her voice calm. “I lost her, too.”
“That’s enough, Lily.” He slammed his fist down on his desk with a resounding thud.
Lily jumped back a step, nearly tripping over the ottoman before she bristled forward. She wouldn’t allow him to be a bully tonight, either.
“Do you think I don’t notice how you dote on my sisters? Do you think I don’t notice how you can’t bear the sight of me? You tolerate me at best.”
“I will replace your dowry,” he growled. “It’s late. Now leave my office and go to bed.”
