Page 75 of In Want of a Wife
“Rafe.” She sighed. She wasn’t sure what she wished to say, only that before she had thought she had discovered something wonderful, but this was more so. This was a divine homecoming, as if she were finally growing into a body she hadn’t possessed for all these years. As if the world was spinning around her, yet she was the center; she was in control.
This. With Rafe.
She felt the shiver racing up his spine before he pulled out and spent on her stomach, the two of them chasing their breath for a moment in silence. She tilted her hips, drawing his face into her hands, and pulled him in for a drugging kiss, determined to chase away the fear that crept into his eyes.
This didn’t have to end for now.
He slid back inside her and thrusted, in and out, drawing out her pleasure until she shattered around him and pressed her mouth against his shoulder to keep quiet.
“That is what you want from life, Lily. Find that, chase that,” he whispered, rising to grab a cloth to clean her up after a few moments.
She smiled to herself stupidly, ignoring the gnawing pain in her chest because she had found it. He was simply too stubborn to allow her to love him.
Rafe shruggedon his shirt and tucked it into his trousers, glancing over his shoulder at Lily as she lay reclined in bed a few hours later. Her dark brown hair tumbled wildly over her shoulders. She clutched a book in her hand. Every now and again, she would peek over the top and gaze at him with the biggest grin he'd ever seen.
It did something funny to his heart.
“Should we see about dinner?” he asked, peeling his heated stare away to focus on the floor.
Rain still pelted against the thin windowpanes of their room, and thunder rumbled on and off in the distance as dusk settled across the horizon.
“And go down together?”
He paused. “Lily, are you expecting me to pull on these boots and run out the door?”
Rafe dropped his teasing tone as soon as he saw worry flash across her face. Christ, he should tell her. The guilt was gnawing at him, especially now.
He cared for her deeply. She would despise him for taking away her choice. Throughout the entire trip, she was convinced Henry knew of this plan and would marry her. And at the start, he hadn’t truly cared if she didn’t because he assumed it would all work out.
No, he had to tell her. He would try at dinner.
Lily sat up, clutched the sheet to her chest, and nodded.
“I’m not leaving, love. But if I don’t eat something, I will be intolerable.”
She smirked. “Yes, that’s true. I’m sorry?—”
“Don’t apologize.” He hated the sound of those words out of her mouth. No, she didn’t need to make excuses for her assumptions. “Least of all not to me.”
Her dark eyebrows knitted together. “Very well. Are you all right?”
He quickly nodded, pulling on both boots. “Never better.”
But that was far from the truth. Again, with the lies. He hated the duplicity, but he couldn’t stop. He didn’t wish to ruin the amazing afternoon they were sharing.
She swung her feet off the bed and allowed them to dangle over the side for a moment. “Will you help me into my dress?”
Rafe grinned, arching an eyebrow as he fastened his trousers. “I would rather take you out of it.”
She chuckled. “It must be so exhausting.”
“What’s that?”
“Being so charming.”
“Why do you think I have such an insatiable appetite?”
Lily clutched the sheet to her body and padded over to him, leaning over to drop a kiss onto his cheek before she reached down for discarded undergarments and her dress still damp from the rain.
