Page 56 of In Want of a Wife
“Here’s the damn thing, Lily. I like you.”
Everything within her snapped to attention.
“That’s not an excuse. I swear it. And here I am escorting you through England after that cad left you waiting atthe altar, and I didn’t behave much better. And you deserve better. You damn well do, and I’m not it, love.”
Her heart drummed in her ears. Half in excitement, half in… anger.
She swatted him against the shoulder, lost for words until, finally, she found them lodged somewhere between her broken heart and her lungs.
“No, you don’t get to decide that for me. I am my own woman. Everyone else wishes to coddle me, everyone wishes to keep me where they can be most comfortable, and I am so tired of it. I wish to live my life on my own. If that means me studying the stars or writing scientific textbooks, then I wish to do so without fear for my reputation or, worse yet, judgment against my knowledge. If that means me finding a husband so I can escape my horrible family, then I will do so. And I did for the record?—”
Rafe tucked her hair behind her ear, waiting, but the tender gesture left her feeling untethered once more. She was certain she had just been furious with him, but now…
“Don’t do that. Don’t you dare,” she snapped.
“Hmm?”
She swatted his hand away, frustrated. Oh, how she wished to kiss him and that shadow of a smile on his lips. She bet he tasted of the ocean and the brandy he sipped on after dinner.
He would taste like her best-worst idea.
And she’d had plenty of bad ideas.
“Please kiss me, Rafe,” she whispered at last. “Don’t protect me, too.”
“I don’t think you will allow me to protect you. Even though I wish to.”
She shrugged, licking her lips and staring up at him. Wanting more.
They stood on the beach, dressing silently. Lily peeked over at Rafe as he shrugged on his shirt. His pants sat low on his waist, revealing a firm stomach and muscles shaped in a V by his waistband. He glanced up, catching her and smiling. Lily only turned, stepping into her dress,fully feeling his eyes on her back as she took her time pulling the damp fabric up the length of her body. She wiggled, smiling to herself when she heard him inhale a sharp breath.
“I haven’t been back since the accident happened,” he said behind her.
She paused, her hand fumbling over the ties of her dress.
“And time has stopped for Mari. She’s stuck here, feeding the ducks and playing with Finn as if she will always be that thirteen-year-old girl. She will never have a family, never know what it’s like to fall in love?—”
“Do you?”
Lily spun, clasping her hands in front of her.
“I left her here with my mother and then agreed to the longest posting I could. My brother took pity on me in London and brought me to the Isle of Wight to sober up and help him sort out the massive mess of inheriting Cliffstone Manor. And she is here and content, and I am… well,I am.”
His hair curled in the sea air. The dark black glowed under the moonlight. Stubble shadowed his face so late into the evening. But his eyes—those remained unchanged—and burned into her with such angst her breath nearly caught.
“What happened?”
“I had my heart broken earlier in the day by the daughter of a local earl. I was beneath her, and her father didn’t approve of her marrying a poor midshipman, and honestly, it was such a young flirtation it means nothing now. Except that day, it meant everything. It meant my entire world, and I was reckless. I drank and then decided to go out on my boat when I knew the weather was changing. Mari begged me to go, and I wouldn’t let her, but I finally caved. She was on the boat with me when the skies turned black, and the waves became these monsters. And all I remember is seeing a flash before the jib broke free and hit Mari. She crumbled to the deck, and a wave washed over us, taking down the boat and dragging us both under. I dove, and I remember the water being so angry. I couldn’t get her, and the lack of air burned my lungs. I finally found her and kicked up to thesurface and grabbed on to a floating piece of wreckage as the storm continued. We floated for some time until the seas calmed, and we were rescued.”
Lily nodded, reached out for his hand, and turned to walk the beach.
“And you haven’t been back?”
“I haven’t wanted to come back. And now I am here, and I brought you with me, and everyone assumed we were…” His voice trailed off.
“We were married.”
It felt so true and yet so foreign as soon as the words left her mouth. Would Rafe ever see her other than a bride for his brother? Did he see her as more than… whatever it was that was between them?
