Page 14 of In Want of a Wife
“I will not save someone who wishes not to save themselves. And this preoccupation of yours will end because it must. You have shamed this family. Twice. We will now be lucky if we can find ahusband for you who even possesses a title. The scandal that you have caused because of your fascination with the stars…”
“About that,” Lily said, sitting on her knees on the floor, clutching a pile of pages sticking this way and that. “When can I have my telescope returned to me? It’s been locked away since before the wedding…”
“And you are still not married. It will remain mine until that day. If it happens.”
“That telescope is very dear to me. It belonged to my mother.”
“As you love to remind me so often. You sound like your father. It is not the time to be overly sentimental. I will keep the telescope safe, and you may have it back once you are married. Until then, you must stop writing all night. It’s ruining your complexion.”
Her complexion? Lily reached for her face, suddenly remembering her fingers were covered in ink from the inkwell.
What was wrong with her complexion?
“I assure you that my complexion is the least interesting thing about me.”
“Men don’t care about your brain. They were graced with one for a reason, and women have other matters to concern themselves over. Pick up this mess, then come downstairs. You can supervise the girls’ piano lesson. This morning has been too taxing, and I feel a headache coming on. I am going to lie in bed.”
“Yes, Mama.”
She swore her stepmother shivered, as if repulsed by Lily addressing her that way, before she slinked off down the hallway.
Amelia muttered, flinging a few items into her wardrobe before falling to her knees, crying.
Lily understood far too well.
She picked up her pages and placed them on her desk, sorting out what she could. But the ink blob on the top pages had seeped into several pages below, and she would need to rewrite those. That was precious time she would never recover, and her time was running out if she remained in this house with her father and stepmother. Theywould marry her off to the first man they could, solely to be rid of her.
But she wouldn’t allow it.
“Would you like help, Amelia?”
At ten, Amelia best liked to act as if she were as tough as her older sister Thea, but she wasn’t. Lily would hear her whisper stories to Jane under the blankets when her younger sister couldn’t sleep, or practice piano with Mary when she had a difficult time learning a new song.
“Thea ripped apart my wardrobe. I don’t understand why I am being made to clean up her mess.”
Lily crossed the room and sank down on the floor. “It is hard having to pretend all the time.”
Amelia scratched her head. Her honey-blonde curls bounced wildly as she puzzled over Lily’s statement. “I don’t wish to always be taking care of everyone else.”
“That is what older sisters are for.”
“Mary is a horrible sister. She only wishes to talk about ribbons and gowns and balls. Do you know at Miss Breaken’s dance last week that Mary kissed a boy! I would never.”
“I am your sister as well. And I will help you now. As for kissing, I can’t give you any advice there.”
“Because no one wishes to marry you?”
“No one has ever stopped to ask if I wished to marry them as well.”
“Thea gave me her green shawl. I don’t understand why she thinks she can storm into this room and tear apart my wardrobe because Mother won’t allow her to keep a kitten. We all know Mother will allow her to keep a kitten, no matter what she says.”
If Lily remained here at her father’s house, she would slowly wither away because day after day everyone who lived here wished to chip away at Lily’s love of life. They all wished for her to act and be a certain person only to feel better about themselves. And she couldn’t stomach it any longer.
She stood and reached down for a few dresses, carefully slipping them back onto the hanger. They were all fine gowns for living in a fine house while preparing to live a fine life as a wife and mother.
“Amelia?”
Her stepsister glanced up at her from her spot on the floor.
