Page 21 of In Pursuit of a Christmas Bride
“And this is Miss Matilda Brennan. I am sure you know of her. Almost anyone who resides in London does after her last performance as Volumnia.”
The earl shook his head. “I am sorry to say I have not had the pleasure of an introduction.”
Tilly felt the heat bite her cheeks from embarrassment. Or perhaps it was the memory of their kiss in the woods at the masquerade at Vauxhall Gardens. The way he had asked if it had been a pleasurable kiss. She had never once had someone consider her when touching her body.
And here he stood so close once again, and they couldn’t say a word in front of Mrs. Craven. They were to spend an entire week together at this house party and act as if they were strangers when that was far from the truth.
Especially when, after having finally found him after all these months, she wished to grab his hand and catch up by the fire and laugh and flirt and kiss some more.
Which only proved Roger right, she was the worst of harlots.
If she were not careful, her reputation would be shattered, and no one would pay to see her tread the boards of Drury Lane. She had fought too hard to give that up because of one kiss.
Because of one man…
“Can I help you find a seat by the fire, Miss Brennan?”
Tilly’s heart danced in her chest. And while the inside of her felt a riot rage on, outside she cooled her features and narrowed her eyes. If she could fashion herself from ice, then perhaps she could protect herself from falling madly and recklessly in love with the earl.
An earl. Oh. She had really done it now.
“Thank you, no.” She was surprised by the resolve in her voice. “Mrs. Craven is correct. It was an ordeal, and I wish to retire to my room.”
A lady’s maid hurried down the stairs and whisked Tilly away, leaving Mrs. Craven with the earl.
All she could think of as she turned the corner on the stairs was that she still didn’t know his name, and she was jealous he now knew hers.
If it mattered.
Did it matter?
Had he thought of her as often as she had thought of him?
It had been such a whirlwind evening. They shared only a handful of minutes together, but she had sworn that evening, and since, that they must have known each other in some other way. How else could she explain how she felt so completely at home with him?
Love wasn’t struck in an instant. It was built over time. It required trust and understanding. Lust at first sight she couldunderstand. But kissing the earl in the dark in the ring of sycamore trees had nothing to do with lust.
But it was foolish to think it was love.
It couldn’t be.
Her lady’s maid showed Tilly into her room. It was a beautiful room overlooking a hedge maze that was flanked by a beautiful stone statute dusted in snow.
She curled up into her chair and tucked her feet under her. She pulled a blanket tight around her shoulders and closed her eyes, stealing a nap.
And avoided the conversation that awaited her downstairs with dark eyes.
CHAPTER 5
Usually,Ethan bounded into Tilly’s bed before daybreak. Some days, he dressed as a pirate and on others, he insisted she look at his drawing when her eyes could barely focus from being at the theater too late.
But his pudgy hands would wrap around her cheeks and draw her gaze to his, and her heart would melt.
Always.
Only two days until Christmas and she would be forced to spend the holiday with a group of strangers. Well, except for Mrs. Craven. But Mrs. Craven might as well have been a stranger. Tilly didn’t dare utter a word of the truth to the old woman for fear of what she could do. Being old and crotchety had enough power, and she didn’t wish to share that Ethan was Tilly’s illegitimate son. So much of protecting her reputation meant balancing how others regarded her, including which roles she selected, which parties she attended, and which charities she supported. A careless whisper from Mrs. Craven could send ripples throughout the beau monde, and the delicate balance Tilly had fought for to maintain the public’s favor would be gone.
Five years and that secret never grew lighter.
