Page 4 of UnLucky Christmas
“Can we talk?” he asks.
Something about his tone causes my stomach to twist into knots.
“Sure,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
He takes both my hands in his before taking a few deep breaths.
“Can you just tell me what’s wrong?” I insist. “I’m guessing it’s not good judging by your expression.”
He groans. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”
Holy crap. This can’t be happening right now. The room starts to spin, and for some reason I already know what he’s doing before he says anything.
“Wait. I don’t understand.” I say pulling my hands out of his grasp.
“I, I haven’t said anything yet.”
I pause for a second.Maybe I’m wrong.
“Okay, what is it?” I ask pointedly.
He looks down at his hands.
“I just don’t know that I want to be in a serious relationship right now.”
Nope. I was right.
“How long have you been feeling this way?” I ask.
Before tonight he hasn’t given me any indication he wants to end our relationship, so this new development has come out of left field.
“A few weeks, maybe,” he says with a shrug. “I want you to know I do care about you, and this is not because of anyone else.”
I press my lips together. I’m not sure I can believe him. We’ve been together for seven months and suddenly he decides he’s not ready for a commitment.
“Whit, please say something,” he pleads.
I don’t move. I’m afraid if I attempt to say anything the tears will begin to fall, and I don’t want to cry. At least not in front of him. I can hold them in until after he leaves.
I clear my throat and continue to hold my emotions within my body.
“What do you want me to say?” I reply. “I’m understandably confused because this has come out of nowhere. You showed up here tonight acting like you had a stressful week at work, we went to dinner, and then you spring this on me.” I pause and swallow the bile that’s rising into my throat.
“I know,” he says not looking at me. “I didn’t know how to bring it up, and when I’m with you I don’t want to have those doubts.”
“But you do,” I say knowingly. “And I’d rather know that now before we continue, especially if I’m not the person you want to be with.”
Wow, this night took a turn I wasn’t expecting. I continue to hold in my tears even though I’m on the verge of breaking down.
“I’m sorry,” he says finally looking up.
His brown eyes are staring into mine, which only twists the knife a little deeper.
I shrug. “You can’t help how you feel.”
He stands up and moves toward me, but I hold out my arm to stop him.
“Please don’t. I can’t…”
