Page 47 of Warrior
I just wanted to get away.
I’m so stupid.
Naïve and silly and stupid.
The whole idea of being his mate was silly. Even with my twenty-something body, the idea that he would want me was insane. He wants one of those six-boobs pleasure females he mentioned. Who wouldn’t want a woman with two vajayjays?
The logical part of my brain, not hindered by naysaying emotions, asked one simple question.
If he didn’t want me. Why did last night happen?
Because I threw myself at him.
Because I acted like a complete floozie, and he was too nice to turn me away and felt sorry for me.
What did Anges call it…a pity fuck.
Oh God!
The fork in the tunnel loomed in my vision. To the left would take me to the common area, kitchen, and my room. To the right would take me back to the laundry cavern. I turned right. The tears fell thickly down my cheeks—the children could not see me like this.
If one looked up the definition of ugly cry, they would find my picture. Even as a small child, I’d never been one to shed tears daintily. My eyes and nose turned red… oh God, no wonder Daicon didn’t want me. He’d seen me cry.
I stumbled into the fog, diving to my knees beside one small pond. The water felt icy, the tips of my fingers stinging as I dipped my cupped hands beneath the surface. Alien water held a consistency thicker than Earth water, with a slightly sweet taste. The thickness would help the liquid adhere to my features, and the chill would alleviate any redness before I had to face anyone.
“Daisy.”
Oh no.
I kept my back to him, splashing my face over and over. If I had to face him, I didn’t want Daicon to know he made me cry.
“Daisy.” His voice was deep and soft and held something that sounded like regret.
“I’m sorry… I…” The words fell from my lips before I knew why I was apologizing.
"Don't apologize." His voice was gentle but with a stronger tone.
"I don't know what to do," I whispered. I didn’t know how to stop the shame and guilt. Most of all, I didn’t know how to stop the blaze of desire licking through my veins from his nearness. It was like being caught in a tornado, twisted and turned, with no end in sight.
The warmth of Daicon's hands on my shoulders felt comforting, despite knowing it shouldn't. He drew me to my feet, turning me so my eyes centered on his chest.
"Will you look at me, please?"
Despite my mortification, I could deny him nothing. I raised my eyes slowly, which only served as an appreciation tour of his upper body. Like I needed to appreciate the hard, muscled chest and shoulders more. When it was impossible to postpone any longer, I met his eyes. The shimmering gold swimming in a cobalt sea stole my breath away. The expression held in their depths wasn't the intensity of the color, but a deep affection, although I was scared to believe it.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” Daicon lifted his hand, fingers trailing across the pathway of my earlier tears.
“Why?” My lower lip trembled, and I pulled it between my teeth.
I felt Daicon’s arm slip around my waist, and he drew me closer. “The Aljani guards. They missed spotting you by minutes.”
“Oh.” The hateful feelings of lack and undesirability evaporated under his gaze.
"The thought of you being hurt again." Daicon pulled me against his chest, shuddering to his very bones.
My mind might have been urging restraint, but my body overrode that suggestion, relaxing against him.
We stood there, holding each other, and one by one, like stars disappearing into the morning sky, my doubts, and reservations waned. In his arms—in his eyes— I was brave and bold again.
