Page 86 of Lovetown, USA
I sigh, staring down at my flask again. “My parents are fucking weird. They got divorced when I was seventeen. That was hardenough on me. It really hit me hard. Then my dad moved out. I was going back and forth between their houses for the whole custody thing. That was a big adjustment. And I would catch them sneaking out of each others’ rooms.”
Trey laughs at that.
“It sounds funny, but it was confusing for me.” I blow out a sigh. “It still is.”
“Oh, they still at it?”
“Their weird asses are about to go on a cruise to celebrate the divorce anniversary.”
He nods. “I see what you mean.”
“Nothing about love makes sense to me. That’s me being honest. I don’t get it. Maybe it’s not meant for me to get it. Is the shit even real? Because if you end it, and put all of us through that, the love must not be there anymore. But if you’re still on the phone ki ki-iing and hopping in and out of each others’ beds and shit, there must still be some love there. That shit was confusing, and I can’t live like that. I need to know where I stand. I need to know what shit means. I need to know what’s real and what isn’t. And my ex…he just made it worse. You don’t lie to somebody you love. You don’t pretend the way he did and call it love.” I take a deep, shaky breath. “So that’s why I don’t believe in it, I guess. Or maybe I just don’t understand it.”
Trey stares at me, silent and attentive.
“I’d rather focus my time and energy on things that fucking matter,” I say. “Right now, that’s my career. Or lack thereof. Whatever. I’ll do what I gotta do to claw my way back to success. I ain’t goin’ out like this.”
“I admire the tenacity. And I have to be honest. That article about your ex? You got some balls on you. I ain’t even mad. He deserved that shit.”
I nod. “He did. But it was stupid. You don’t understand, Trey. I breached journalistic ethics. The only reason I’m not bankruptright now is because everything I said was true. But trust me, he wanted to sue me.”
“Damn.”
I glance down at my flask. “Anyway…” I trail off. “Enough about that.”
“So then you never wanna be in love again.”
I laugh bitterly. “Honestly, Trey, I don’t even know what the fuck that means anymore.”
He nods.
It’s quiet for a while until I yawn.
“Let’s get you inside so you can get some rest.” He grabs the box off the dash. “When does your column come out again?”
That gets a faint smile out of me. “You really are a fan, huh?”
“I am,” he says. “I’m keeping track.”
“Couple of days,” I say, yawning again. “What’s wrong? Why do you look stressed?”
He shakes his head, forcing a smile. “I’m good. Let’s go.”
Trey gets me upstairs, depositing me at my door before he pulls me into a long, tight hug. We share a tender kiss, then he waits for me to get inside.
“Good night, baby girl,” he says as he makes his way down the hall. “We’ll talk soon.”
Later, as I lay in bed, I wonder what happened to cause the shift in his mood. I can only assume that story soured him on me a little bit.
I talked too much.
Oh well. It was probably for the best. I was starting to like him more than I should. It was time to get back to the reason I’m here.
Fuck love.
Whatever that is.
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