Page 45 of Velvet Sin
“That wasyouridea.”
“Well, right now, I don’t see how that’s possible.Especially if we need to shut down operations in Manhattan for the foreseeable future.I don’t see how it will be possible at all without someone to manage things when you’re not around.Either LA or Manhattan, one of them needs somebody there.I know you hate the idea of bringing in an outsider?—”
“Don’t tell me what I hate,” I warned.What I hated was the way he put words into my mouth.“If it’s something we absolutely need to do, I’m not against it.Give me a day or two to think about this.”
“What about New York?We’re being fined daily.”
“And we’re probably making at least twice as much every day, correct?”
He scowled, answering, “Probably more.I would have to look at the numbers.But we’re talking potential safety issues,” he reminded me.“What’s more important?Money or lives?”
It wasn’t easy, but we agreed to shut the club down for the time being.“I’ll get contractors out there ASAP to figure out if it’ll make sense to work with what we have or if moving operations would be smarter,” Blake concluded.
“Make sure the messaging is clear,” I reminded him.“Everyone gets paid for the duration, but if I find out they’re double-dipping and working somewhere else while taking my money, they’re free to go.”
It was a relief to end the call and down the rest of my latte in peace.There was no ignoring the sense of being on a runaway train with no one at the controls.I was supposed to be the man seated behind them, determining the train’s speed, but I had lost sight of my main objective.
When had it stopped mattering so much?
I knew the answer but didn’t want to admit it.I let myself get swept up in her and who I became when I was with her.Her protector, her guide through a new world she was only beginning to explore.I’d lost sight of everything that hadn’t directly involved her, and where had it gotten me?
Worst of all, I was alone again.It didn’t make any sense.I hadn’t bought this house with the intention of asking her to live here, yet her absence took away all the satisfaction of being here.In the end, I had imagined her with me, imagined her being impressed or even proud of me.
What did I have without that?
What mattered?
Why couldn’t I remember?
My phone’s alarm chimed with a reminder of an upcoming appointment.Not that I had forgotten—it wouldn’t be possible.But now, days after I reached out to Mom and asked if I could pay her a visit, I didn’t feel the urgency to prove Lenny wrong.Of everything she’d accused me of, being a hypocrite stung worst of all.She was right, of course.I had bitched her out for being a coward, yet I had gone out of my way for years to hide from one of the few people in the world I’d ever been close to.
After a quick shower, I pulled on a pair of jeans and a dark gray tee.It was rare to dress so casually on a weekday.I was usually on my way to a meeting or to my office whenever I left the house.That used to seem normal and probably still would if it wasn’t for Lenny.She had changed everything.She had opened my eyes to how narrow my life was and then punked out on me.When I thought of it that way, a little self-righteous outrage helped soothe the ache in my chest.
After stopping at the florist for a bouquet, I made the twenty-minute drive out to Mom’s community.The sight of seniors driving scooters and golf carts over the grounds behind a tall fence gave me hope that Mom was thriving here.Everyone seemed to be enjoying life.I took it as a good sign while following a route through the complex that should have been a hell of a lot more familiar than it was.I hadn’t visited unless it was necessary.Then I reached her quaint, single-story home, whose pale blue exterior reminded me of the sky on a hot day.
She was waiting for me when I got out of the car, standing behind the screen door.I would have sworn she looked younger than she did ten years ago.Now that she could afford trips to the salon and the spa, not to mention a nicer wardrobe and the luxury of time to herself, she was healthier than I could remember seeing her.
“Hi, Mom.”I offered the bouquet of roses, kissing her cheek when she opened the door.“These are for you.”
Her face lit up as she cradled them in one arm like a beauty pageant winner, though beauty queens didn’t normally have so much gray streaking their dark hair.“My goodness.I don’t know what’s taken longer.A man buying me flowers or seeing my son in person.”She always did have a way with words, my mother.
Her dark eyes twinkled behind her reading glasses.“For heaven’s sake, come in.You’re too thin.Are you eating?”
“A couple of times a day.It’s sort of a habit,” I replied.If anything, there was a nice sense of continuity.Knowing what to expect.
A quick visual tour of the compact living room and adjacent kitchen told me the money I paid for this community was well spent.Everything was in good shape, and the cleaning crew left it spotless.If there were one thing I’d make sure she never did again, it was housecleaning.
“I was going to fix a sandwich.How about I make one for you?”She was already on her way to the kitchen, where I would’ve bet anything she had not been in the middle of making a sandwich or any other food.That was her way of luring me in to let her take care of me.
The kitchen was bright, full of sunshine, but it was the chocolate chip cookies cooling on a rack that drew my attention.“What is all this for?Don’t tell me you baked them for me.”
She was already in the refrigerator, meaning she had to crane her neck to see around the open door.“Oh, I have my book club later on.Everybody always asks me to make them.”
“If they’re half as good as they used to be, I can imagine why.”
“You should try one and let me know.”She was grinning as she closed the refrigerator with her hip, carrying packages of cold cuts and a bottle of mustard.“Ham and cheese on rye?”
“You remembered.”
