Page 38 of Velvet Sin
My hand dropped to my side, but that was nothing compared to my sinking heart.“Lenny, come on.”
“Or what?Oh, I’m sorry,” she hissed, looking around at the thin crowd of people moving in and out beneath the neon sign hanging over the club entrance.“I might cause a scene?Am I embarrassing you?Guess what?You’re not the first man to pull that line on me.I couldn’t care less.”
“At least come with me.We can talk about it.Let me explain.”I couldn’t let her go.If I let her go now, I might never get her back.And I needed her back.I needed her.
“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.Just let me go.”Of all fucking times for a cab to roll up with its dome light illuminated, signaling it was free.Lenny thrust a hand into the air, almost running out into the street on her pencil-thin heels.The cab's headlights cast her in silhouette before she hopped back a step to keep from getting hit.
When I started after her, she shook her head wildly, fumbling for the door handle.Only then did I notice the tears rolling down her cheeks.“Leave me alone.”It was a broken sob coming from deep pain.
Pain I had caused.Again.‘Leave me alone.Just leave me alone.’Only now, we weren’t a pair of college kids breaking up in my dorm room after she caught me cheating.I was not that asshole kid anymore.
Or was I?
The last thing I saw was her tear-stained face as the car pulled away, and the sight made me wonder if I had ever grown up at all.
16
ELEANOR
“Hi, it’s Chloe again.Listen, I don’t know what’s going on, and I know it’s none of my business, but everybody’s worried about you and hoping you’re okay.It doesn’t even need to be about work.Just… you know.Let me know you’re all right.”
No.I was not all right.I was broken, betrayed, and it was all my fault in the end.I walked into this time with eyes wide open.
I set the phone down on my coffee table after listening to Chloe’s voicemail, and for maybe the millionth time in the past three days, there were tears in my eyes that I tried to blink away.It was almost too much to believe.Why did anybody care about me?I had barely worked there for six weeks, right?I tried to think back, to put together a timeline, but every time I thought about who I was when I first stepped foot in Dante’s office, the emotion was too much to handle.
I would run away from it like I ran from Dante that night—embarrassed, humiliated, questioning everything I thought I knew about myself.
Instead of leaving the phone where it was, my nails tapped the screen.Would it look weird if I sent Casey a text to figure out if she heard something?Maybe I should reach out to the whole group just to say hi, to check in.Would it look like I was trying to do damage control?Would I look suspicious?I didn’t know for sure whether Cameron would say something to them or anybody.It would implicate him, too, after all.There was no way in hell he’d want anyone finding out he was at a club like that, but then he could always pretend he heard the news from someone else.
His ex-wife was having sex in public.
Fine, so I was discovering parts of myself I didn’t know existed.Did that mean I had to go to a club and ride Dante like my life depended on it, with all those people around?There could’ve been literally anyone in that club.Safety was an illusion.I was taking a risk, pure and simple, and it had come back to bite me in the ass.
Or had it?Not knowing for sure whether Cameron told everyone was starting to eat me alive.That was the worst torture.Every time the phone rang, I was sure it would be one of the girls or that somehow, Mom had gotten word from one of her friends in the old neighborhood.I couldn’t imagine how, but then I couldn’t have imagined Cameron showing up when he had.
Hell, a few months ago, I couldn’t have imagined having sex in public either.Anything was possible.
I now had fourteen missed calls from Dante.I didn’t feel like counting all the texts he had sent.The only one I responded to was the one asking whether I had gotten home safely in my cab, and I’d responded with the wordyes.That was all I could bring myself to say.Eventually, I would find the strength to demand answers.Not that it mattered, his rationale.He could talk himself into anything he wanted to do.
Besides, what would it change?The damage was done.I was humiliated, waiting for the judgment I knew was coming.It was getting to the point where I wished Cameron would get it over with already.Tell the world what a slut I had become.It had to be easier than living in limbo, always on edge.
My phone buzzed, and I jumped, my heart taking off in a sickening rhythm that made my hands shake.Dante.Like somehow, he felt me thinking about him.
Dante:Checking in.Starting to wonder if you really are OK.At least tell me something only you would know.Just so I’m sure.Otherwise, I’m coming over.
Oh, terrific.Like I needed that.I searched my memory, trying to come up with a word that would keep him where he was.Knowing him, that was his office, where he would be settling in for the night by now.
A sudden pounding on the front door made me drop the phone before I could come up with anything.It skittered across the cheap, fake wood vinyl, and for some reason, that was the straw that broke the camel's back.“You sent that text from down the hall, didn’t you?”I demanded, flipping the deadbolt and opening the door, ready to tear Dante’s throat out for manipulating me yet again.
Which was why the sight of my ex-husband made me fall back a step and clutch my chest in shock.“Cameron,” I whispered.It couldn’t be real, but there he was, standing with his feet planted at shoulder width and his fists jammed into his slacks.“What are you doing here?”I asked as ice spread through my veins.This couldn’t be good.
“Is that any way to greet me?”he countered.He ran his left hand through his golden hair, and I noticed the lack of a ring.He swore the day we left the courthouse that he would never take his ring off since he was sure we would be together again.That pledge didn’t last too long, did it?Like so many others.
“Why are you here?”I demanded.The doorknob felt slick under my sweaty palm, but I only gripped it harder.He was not going to intimidate me on my home turf.“How did you even know where to find me?”Did I sound scared?I did, and I hated him for that.For the power he still held over me.
“Come on, Ellie…” He scoffed.“You know I know people who know where to look.It’s not like you went under FBI protection or something.”
My cheeks went hot, and I wished they wouldn’t.His cruel, dismissive tone did exactly what it always had.I started to shrink under the weight of it, to draw inward, to question everything.Right down to my intelligence.
