Page 9 of Velvet Sin
Why did he have to stare at me like he did once he sat down?“Do I look awful?”I asked, running my hand over my hair.The blonde phase had been a mistake, one of those post-divorcefuck youmoves.Without a job, the upkeep was too much to afford.Dying it back to its natural shade of brown had been the only reasonable move.
“No.You look fantastic.”He didn’t chuckle at himself or make an awkward comment to cover up what he blurted out.He owned it.It was a little unnerving but strangely refreshing the way he didn’t grin or laugh it off, the way he held my gaze.My cheeks went warm in response.
“You look nice too.”For the first time since he approached, I let myself look at him.He’d gone from cute to handsome to blisteringly hot over the years.His thick, dark hair tended to curl a little when it was long enough, but now he wore it in a short, polished cut.His face was slimmer, his jaw sharper, making his sensuous mouth stand out.
Cameron only wished he could pull off a suit the way Dante did now, looking classy and sophisticated but understated at the same time.Cameron never did have that confidence, and he had been born into a world where it was normal to have a closet full of suits.I knew firsthand Dante hadn’t grown up that way, but he pulled it off.
“There’s been a lot of water under the bridge,” he mused, accepting a glass of scotch from the server while I took a deep sip from my iced tea.I didn’t realize how thirsty I was until now.Desperation had a way of making everything else seem less important.I left the house this morning convinced I would return victorious, and reality had smacked me down.Hard.
"I don’t usually eat this early," he said, scanning the menu."But if the food’s good, I’ll make an exception."
What was I doing?Now that the giddiness had passed, horror trickled into my veins.Cameron and I had eaten here so many times, surrounded by tasteful opulence.Now, I shared a table with the man whose betrayal had pushed me into my ex’s arms.Was I trying to torture myself?“You know, I’m feeling a lot better now,” I ventured.
“Don’t even think about saying you’re not hungry,” he warned, eyeing me over the top of the menu.“I know damn well you’re starving.I’m getting a steak.You should too.”
No, what I should’ve done was throw the rest of my iced tea in his face and marched out, but my pride wouldn’t let me make a scene.“Are you always like this now?Calling the shots, telling people what to do?”I asked.
“Absolutely.I am used to calling the shots."He set the menu aside and turned his attention to his drink, but his gaze never left me.“In business, that is.It’s not easy being the boss.”
The approval in his deep brown eyes warmed my skin in a surprisingly nice way.How long had it been since a man looked at me like that?Snap out of it, for Christ’s sake.“You must be doing pretty well.”I waved my hand toward him and tried to smile.I had to somehow remember the good times, the happy memories that had nothing to do with him hurting me.It was the only way I could get through this—one dinner, the very least I deserved after what he’d put me through.
And everything that happened after.
I held the menu in front of my face and blinked back the tears.Maybe I was the problem.For the second time in my life, the man I loved decided I wasn’t enough and went someplace else to get his dick wet.
“Business is good,” he explained.“I’m expanding out here after my clubs in New York and Los Angeles have done so well.”
The mention of Los Angeles sent a shiver through me.Three months had passed since that night when I fled that kink club before I made a regrettable decision.It had been the right choice.I knew that the minute I stepped outside, free of alcohol, sex, and defiance against my cheating ex.Still, my body had a mind of its own, tensing and going hot when I recalled the only other time in almost a year when I’d felt desired.Like I mattered.
“I’m glad for you,” I choked out, still using the menu to shield me.“I really am.What made you decide to get into that line of business?”That was where our problems started, come to think of it—when it came time to decide on our jobs after graduation.For months, I had encouraged him to apply even for internships, anything that would get his foot in the door someplace steady.This was the man I was planning on spending my life with.Who could blame me for wondering if he had a plan going forward?
“Do you want the real answer or the carefully worded interview answer?”
He was enjoying this, the dick.Lowering the menu, I replied, “I want the answer you would give to somebody you met on the first day of fifth grade.”
“Because I knew I could make a lot of money.”He didn’t explain himself, didn’t make excuses, and for some reason, his brashness stirred up grudging respect.He didn’t see any need to excuse himself for wanting to be rich.
“Have you made a lot of money?”I asked.
He smirked.“Would you like to see a bank statement, Lenny?”
Any kinship I was starting to feel shriveled and died when he used my nickname.“Eleanor,” I corrected.“Please.All that stuff… it was a long time ago.”
“It hasn’t been all that long.You still look the same… even better,” he added with a gentle grin that shouldn’t have made my blood simmer but sure as hell did.“Indulge me.I’ve spent all these years thinking of you as Lenny.”
Interesting.“You’ve been thinking about me all these years?”I asked.
His brows lifted like he was surprised before he laughed.“You got me.Maybe I have.What, you’ve never thought about me?You never wondered what I was up to?”
Like he had any right to tease me after what he did.Sure, ten years had passed, but some wounds cut too deep.“Not for a very long time,” I replied a second before a server approached to take our order.He had to wipe the sour look off his handsome face, all charm and smiles, as he ordered for both of us.Two prime ribs, all the trimmings.I didn’t have the energy or the patience to ask where the hell he got off ordering my food.
At the same time, the aroma in the dining room had my stomach clenching and my mouth watering.Maybe I wasn’t in any position to refuse.
However, something in his frown told me he might wish he had never forced me into this meal.I wasn’t here to feed his ego.In fact, the longer we spent with each other, the easier it was to remember everything I had deliberately put behind me.Just like Cameron, I was dispensable.If it hadn’t been for him fucking around on me, I could have avoided wasting ten years.Falling behind the rest of the world, walking around with a gap in my résumé that clearly labeled me worthless.It had to, or else why the hell wouldn’t anybody consider me for a job?Not even waiting tables, for God’s sake.
My chest was too tight, not to mention the pinhole my throat had closed into.What was I going to do?My savings were dwindling so fast it made my head spin.I’d be out of money in another month or two, and only if I lived as frugally as possible.
“Hey.Are you okay?”I didn’t realize how emotional I was getting until he looked at me with alarm.“What is really happening?And don’t give me some bullshit answer.I thought you were living the country club life out here.Yet I find you looking for a job at a restaurant.A nice restaurant, but still.”
