Page 107 of Fear of Love
“Right there in front of everyone, his family and our friends, he took her hand and walked away. Just left me standing there.”The words caught in my throat as I forced them out, tears slipping down my cheeks despite my efforts to hold them in. The makeup artist was going to have a field day when I got back.
“He left me there to clean everything up. To deal with the fallout ofhisdecision.”
I spent years trying to forget that moment. To forget the fact that my heart was ripped from my chest, and my entire world turned inside out without a warning.
“On top of being humiliated, I had to apologize to everyone and cancel everything we had planned for the rest of the evening, while he ran off withher.” I said, the last word coming out as a hiss.
In a matter of minutes, I lost everything. The person who I thought loved me. The family I was gifted with when I had no one.
I continued, tears seconds from falling. “Jared’s parents were nice enough to stick around and help me sort things out, but Jared was their son. Even though we were close for the four years Jared and I were together, they were always going to choose him. The day after the wedding, they called to check on me once and that was it.”
“Lydia.” My whole body shook as I cried. Familiar arms wrapped around my shoulders and tugged me into his side. I kept my head turned away from Landon’s tux so my mascara wouldn’t ruin it. With one hand, I held onto his thigh, the firm muscle grounding me.
I broke down, finally letting go of the weight I’d carried for the last six years. The pain Jared left me with. The lies, the cheating, the moment he walked away from me on our wedding day. Holding onto it had only been eating me alive.
When the tears started to slow, I raised my head and looked up at Landon. “I’m sorry I kept it from you. I wanted to tell you, but I was terrified you’d walk away once you knew.”
“Why would I leave?” Landon asked, his voice soft as he brought a hand up, his thumb wiping at my cheeks.
“Because everyone leaves. I wasn’t good enough for my mom, and I wasn’t good enough for Jared. Why would I ever be good enough for you?” My voice was small, broken.
I finally voiced the question that had haunted me most of my life. Would I ever be enough? Enough for my mom to come back? Enough for Jared to love me and only me? Enough to run my own magazine?
Enough for Landon?
“Lydia.” His tone was gentle, but the pain in his expression made fresh tears spill down my cheeks. “You are not the reason your mom left. That washerchoice to do that. None of this is on you.”
He gently took my chin in his hand, guiding my gaze back to his.
“And you arenotthe reason that coward walked away. He had someone incredible, smart, strong, beautiful, and he ruined that. He cheated because he’s weak and insecure, not because you weren’t enough.”
A shy laugh escaped me at his blunt honesty.
“But you know what?” His tone softened again as he held my eyes. “He got one thing right. Him leaving led you to me.” As if I wasn’t already a blubbering mess.
“Don’t youeverthink you aren’t good enough for me. You are more than I could ever hope for in my lifetime. You’re the person I’ve waited the last thirty years for.”
“I think I’ve been waiting for you, too,” I whispered.
“I need you to understand something. I am never going to leave. Not when you try to push me away or fight with me. Not because of some stupid asshole from your past. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” He said it with so much conviction I sworea crack in my heart filled. I gripped the front of his tux as I stared up at him.
“You promise?”
“Always,” he vowed.
“I don’t want you to ever walk away again. It’s been the worst six days,” I admitted.
“The worst six days for me, too.” His hand moved up my face to gently tuck a curl behind my ear. “If there’s anything on your mind, or if something is bothering you, talk to me about it. We’ll figure it out together. Promise?”
“Always,” I echoed his words, watching the slight curve of his lips. “So, does this mean you’re mine now? No more friends with benefits?”
Because I didn’t want that anymore. I wanted something real. I wantedhimcompletely.
“If you’ll have me.”
I brought my left hand up and touched the side of his face, his beard tickling the palm of my hand. He turned his head and placed a kiss on the center of my palm.
“I’ve wanted you to be mine for awhile now,” I confessed.
