Page 120 of Fear of Love
“Oh, good. I have him helping man the desk with Emily.” I looked down at the clipboard in my hand, going over where everyone was supposed to be.
“Sweet of you to offer to help Landon,” Tasha said next to me.
“After seeing his workload last week, he definitely needs the help.” Landon didn’t necessarily ask for assistance, something he was trying to work on, but I sort of bulldozed my way in and took over. Don’t get me wrong, Landon was doing great setting everything up, but seeing the stress he was under, I wanted to help in any way I could.
So instead of just walking around forthe magazine,a lie I told myself at the charity event last year, I was helping out. I was here to make sure everyone was in their designated spots and that everything was running smoothly.
“I wanted to ask.” The tone of Tasha’s voice had me turning my full attention to her. “Did you book an appointment with Dr. Hauss?”
After Josie’s wedding, I did some serious self-reflection, finally coming to terms that I’ve bottled a lot of things up. Everything from being abandoned as a kid to a failedengagement. I didn’t want to have my walls up so high anymore, and I didn’t want my past to define me, either.
“I actually made an appointment for next week.” A bit ago, I reached out to Tasha to see if she could recommend a therapist for me to talk to. I wasn’t sure how therapy was going to work or if it would help me at all, but I wanted to try. Not just for myself but also for Landon. He taught me that not everyone walked away, and that it was okay to start trusting again.
Tasha recommended a therapist she’s been going to. I was nervous as hell to go and talk to a stranger about my life and my issues, but Tasha did nothing but rave about them.
“That’s great. I know it isn’t easy, but I’m proud of you for going.” Tasha squeezed my arm and gave me a reassuring smile. She’s been going to therapy for the last few months now, and it really has done wonders, so I was hoping it would for me, too.
“Thank you.” I shot her a soft smile before she slipped away to go help out.
With Hockey for Kids in full swing, I got into work mode, going around to make sure everything was going as it should.
Fifteen minutes passed before Mateo showed up. He ran in, apologizing profusely, before he slipped behind the counter with Landon’s employee, Emily. I watched as the two greeted each other and noted how Emily’s cheeks turned light pink as Mateo flashed her his signature grin. I had a feeling pairing them together today was going to result in Mateo getting slapped for flirting or spark something between the two.
I knew Emily went to the same uni as Mateo and had seen him around the rink. She was more reserved than Mateo, the kid was a walking golden retriever, but as they made light conversation, I couldn’t help but smirk. Maybe my matchmaking skills would work.
Leaving them to it, I continued making my rounds. Every so often, I’d catch sight of Landon. Almost like he felt my stare, he’dlook up and give me a little wink before turning back to whatever he was doing.
The last three weeks were incredible. It was nice not sneaking around with Landon and lying to our friends about it. Now that we were officially together, it was like we could truly start getting to know one another.
I loved learning all the little things about Landon. Like how he hated avocado but loved guacamole. He refused to eat boxed mac and cheese because he got sick on it once as a kid. He had an unhealthy obsession with Coffee Crisps candy bars. And he had a soft spot for cats.
My favorite part of the day was going to Landon’s place after work, or him coming to mine. We’d cook together and talk about our day. Talk about our friends and Mateo’s antics. I hadn’t realized how much I missed coming home to someone until Landon.
Two hours passed before I was able to take a second for myself. The event was going smoothly, only a few snags as kids fell and cried, but everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. The kids were having a blast playing in the mini tournaments and games with the hockey players.
Taking a moment, I leaned against the railing of the ice rink as I watched Landon. He skated off to the side to talk to a little girl. The same little girl I watched him with weeks ago when she came to learn to play hockey. The way she looked up at him made my heart want to explode.
“It never gets old seeing them with kids,” Josie said as she settled in beside me, resting her arms on the railing. “Who would’ve guessed these giant hockey guys would be great with children,” she mused.
“They really are. The kids love them,” I agreed, unable to take my eyes off of my boyfriend.
“Sweet of Landon to teach a little girl about hockey,” Jo prodded.
“Don’t even go there,” I said, finally dragging my gaze away from him just in time to catch Josie smirking.
“You gave me so much shit when I started dating Wyatt. It’s only fair.”
“Yeah. I did, didn’t I,” I replied, shaking my head with a smile.
Josie was quiet for a moment, looking out at the rink. “You two are pretty serious.”
“We are,” I agreed.
“He’s different.” Together, we watched Landon. “In a good way, though. He’s less grumpy. Well, he’ll always be grumpy, but you can tell he’s happier than when I first met him.” Hearing her say that made me smile. I’d noticed the shift in him, too, and it meant something that the others saw it.
“You’re good for him.” She turned to me. “And he’s good for you. You seem lighter than you ever have.”
It was wild how free you felt after letting go of someone who only ever held you back. I didn’t see how much Jared had been keeping me stuck until Landon came along and showed me what I was missing.
