Page 72 of Vow to Corrupt You
“I was sixteen,” I mutter. “I fell in love with her. She was pure, like you. Innocent. And that night... my father, he…” My hands tighten on the wheel as the memory takes over. “He caught her with me, tied me up, and made me watch as he fucking murdered her. He slit her throat in front of me like it was nothing. Like she was nothing.”
I hear my breath quicken, coming harder, veering recklessly into the opposite lane. If a car appeared now, we’d die—but even that isn’t enough. It’s still not enough to silence the screams, to erase the images in my mind.
“When he finally untied me…” My hands squeeze the steering wheel with force, my knuckles turning white. “Everything inside me snapped. All the shit he did to me, my mother’s death, Lydia’s death... it all came crashing down at once. I didn’t even think. I just fucking lost it. I threw myself at him, and I started choking the life out of him. I didn’t stop. I didn’t even realize what I was doing until his blood was on my hands.”
A single tear spills down my cheek, and I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to stop them. The tears. I can’t allow myself any weakness. Never again.
“I didn’t mean to kill him,” I whisper, barely above a breath. “But I did. And now, his blood... his blood’s still on my hands. It haunts me every fucking day.”
Serena doesn’t say anything. She’s silent, and I can feel her gaze on me, but the road ahead is a black void. Just like my soul.
“Nikos, watch out!” she screams at the blinding lights of a car speeding toward us. The shriek of its horn pierces my ears, drowning out every thought, every memory. Finally, I no longer hear the voices in my head.
Serena urges me to steer back into the right lane to avoid the crash, but I don’t react, almost as if I want it.
Maybe I do want to die tonight. Maybe I want to take her with me.
Tires squeal, rubber fighting against asphalt as the car bucks beneath us. I glance at her; her face is pale, but her eyes aren’t just scared. They look calm. Oddly calm. As if she’s ready to die too.
But I can’t let that happen. Everything I’ve done that has led me to this point was to protect her. My visceral need to drag her to the depths of my darkness, break her, corrupt her, all to make sure that the one person who could mean the world to me doesn’t die.
My hands wrench the wheel to the right. The car lurches violently, tires skidding as we spin in sickening circles. The world outside blurs, and I see only her.
Her hair falls across her face, her body wound tight. The car groans to a halt just beyond the road; our heavy breathing is the only sound breaking the deafening silence. Adrenaline still bursting.
Slowly, I turn to her. Her eyes meet mine, wide and unblinking. I reach out, my fingers brushing her cheek. She doesn’t flinch.
“I’m giving you a choice, wicked one,” my voice sounds unfamiliar, hoarse as if it’s not me speaking. “I’m giving you a choice to leave me.”
Chapter 38
Serena
I shake my head, looking at Nikos in confusion. I must’ve heard him wrong. There’s no way he said he’s giving me a choice to leave. It must be the adrenaline still buzzing in my veins or the shock after staring death in the eyes. I legit thought we would die on that road, be hit by that car.
“Did I hear you right? You’re letting me go?” My voice is as shaky as my body.
“I’m not letting you go,” Nikos replies calmly, as if he weren’t just here in the car with me, as if he didn’t just try to cause an accident to kill us. “I’m giving you a chance to leave, but on my terms. I’ll give you the money, enough to lead a long, luxurious life far away from me.” He pauses as though he’s giving up a part of himself to say this. “You won’t have to hide. You won’t have to run. I won’t look for you.”
I stare at the contradiction before me. Just a couple of hours ago, he chased me to the airport, ruining my attempt to escape. Then, finally (though in his own twisted way, while fucking me roughly like an animal), he admitted he cares about me—perhaps even has feelings for me. Then, he tries to kill us in a suicide mission while confessing his darkest secrets, only to tell me I’m allowed to leave.
It doesn’t make sense.
My gaze must betray my confusion because Nikos speaks before I can ask any more questions. And I have plenty.
“I won’t change, wicked one. Ever.” He brushes me gently with his thumb, and I realize he isn’t wearing his gloves. I feel him—his touch—and, to my surprise, it feels so intoxicating I don’t want him to take his hand away. “I’m not looking for redemption. Never have. A criminal like me, a ruthless gangster with a past so dark and twisted, can’t ever change. If someone tells you otherwise, it’s all sweet lies.” His voice is so soft yet deep and rough, just like always. He brushes my cheek, then my lips, following the path his fingertips trail before his eyes meet mine once more. “That darkness, consuming everything and everyone around me, has become an inseparable part of me. So yes, I’m giving you a choice to walk away before it’s too late. Before it consumes even you. Before I drag you down to the depths of my own personal hell with me. Believe me, sooner or later, that’s exactly what will happen.”
“Why?” My forehead creases, my head tilting to sink deeper into his warm hand, which feels like the place where I belong. “Why now?”
He exhales heavily, his breath a welcome comfort against my skin, as his fingers caress me so gently it’s as if I’m made of a fragile fabric that could tear apart with the slightest movement. “I see the way you look at me. Like you think you can save me. Like I’m still human. But that’s the most dangerous lie of all. Because loving me isn’t a fairytale. It’s a death sentence.” He pulls his hand away like he’s letting go of more than just my skin, and the pain in his eyes makes it feel like goodbye. “Because I realized keeping you safe does not necessarily mean keeping you by my side.”
My heart shatters. I feel like I’m breaking into millions of tiny pieces. This is exactly what I was the most afraid of—losing the person you don’t ever want to lose, that feeling of abandonment, the bitter goodbye when it’s the last thing you want to say.
“I vowed to break you because I thought it was the only way for you to survive. Just like I had to become a monster, embrace the darkness so it wouldn’t have embraced me. I thought it would make you strong enough to survive with me, beside me, in my world, that it was the only way. But now I see it’s not, and if it’s too much for you, and I’m pretty sure it is, I’m willing to let you go, even if it destroys me.” His jaw tightens as he inhales deeply, as if it’s torture to say those words aloud. “I thought I was protecting you, but now I realize you might be better off without me. Safer. And I want you to be safe, wicked one, and I will keep you safe because I know only I can, especially now that you’re my wife. My enemies will always see you as a target. That’s why if you leave, it’ll be on my terms, so you don’t have to hide or fear for your life.”
“What if it’s already too late?” I mutter softly, feeling the weight in my chest while Nikos’s eyes bounce back and forth between mine. “What if I’m lost in the depths of that hell and don’t want to be found?”
“What do you mean, wicked one? Isn’t that what you wanted?” Nikos straightens a fraction, and I swear a flicker of something—a whispered maybe—briefly crosses his face. “Your freedom back?”
