Page 33 of California Love Songs
She shook her head. “Don’t you see that would just make it worse? No. She’s welcome to stay as my guest. If she’s as good as you say she is, I’ll even do a profile piece on her in the Sea Shell.”
He began to feel excited now. “That would be great, sis. Okay. She’s coming in tomorrow. Does that give you enough time to move out?”
Erin laughed. “You don’t mess around, do you? Once you’ve decided on something, it’s all systems go.”
He held up his hands. To a certain extent, Erin was right. He usually knew what he wanted and went after it. But he hadn’t forgotten that the real reason he’d wanted to see Erin this morning was to figure out what to do about Crystal—not what to do about Opal. On the first subject, he was still riddled with confusion.
He realized his thoughts had drifted once more in Crystal’s direction when Erin said, “I always keep my place clean and tidy. I’ll just make some space in the closet and drawers for her. It’s really no problem.”
He hugged his sister again.
He seriously hoped there would be no problems ahead.
As he and Erin walked the beach, Damien started to feel better. It was pretty hard to hold on to stress and anxiety when dogs were running around on the beach, kicking up sand, rolling over, turning in circles, running after each other, catching balls, racing into the water, and then begging for more. The surfers were out, riding the waves. Kids were building sandcastles, and he had the good advice of a beloved sister.
And he’d just spent the entire time talking about himself.
“So, you’re not spending too much time at your own house, huh?”
She glanced at him, looking both a bit embarrassed and also pretty pleased with herself. “I’m not,” she admitted.
How had he missed that his little sister had completely grown up, when he’d been so busy thinking she needed protection? “And it’s going well with Jay? He treats you well?”
Her eyes were full of emotion when she looked up at him. “Damien, I’ve never been so happy. I didn’t know I could be this happy.”
Damien smiled. “I’m so glad.”
Then Erin laughed a little, softly and quietly, almost to herself. “Sure, Jay drives me crazy sometimes. He can be pretty brash and pushy, but… I don’t know, he’s making me stand up for myself a little more. He helps me focus and vocalize the things I want or need. I think he’s been good for me, like I’ve been good for him.” She paused to think. “Maybe that’s what makes a great relationship. Not someone who’s exactly like you, but who’s different from you and appreciates who you are. The person who sees the best version of yourself and brings out that side. Maybe I’m talking a lot of garbage, but that’s how I feel. I love him and I know he loves me and it’s everything.”
Damien felt his breath catch. The person who sees the best version of yourself and brings out that side.
He thought about Crystal and how she’d been such a big part of his life, even when they hadn’t been in the same city, even when they hadn’t been in the same country. They had always found a way to stay connected. He couldn’t imagine his life without her.
I love him and I know he loves me and it’s everything.
When his mind lingered on the word love, the last cloud cleared.
He loved Crystal.
He loved the friend who always had his back, who knew his deepest secrets as he knew hers. All these years he’d been happy with her in the friend zone. And now he’d kissed her. Was she finally moving out of the friend zone? And if she was, what did that mean for him, for her, for the relationship he treasured?
All he knew for certain was that he had a lot of thinking to do, because there was no way he could continue on this path unless he was absolutely sure of what he wanted and had some idea of what Crystal wanted too. Because as spine-tingling as that kiss had been, outside of his family, his friendship with Crystal was possibly the most important relationship in his life. He couldn’t do anything to damage it. He wouldn’t. And so he was faced with a dilemma.
He realized he hadn’t said anything for a while and when he finally emerged from his ruminations, he saw that he and Erin were almost at Jay’s house, which overlooked the ocean. Before Damien knew what was happening, the man himself came out. There was no missing Jay. He was big and moved faster than other people, with the huge determination that never left him. On days when he hadn’t spent the night awake, Damien had a lot of energy, but Jay was in a whole different league.
As the man barreled toward them, he caught a glimpse of his sister’s face. That’s what love looks like. And then he glanced at Jay as he neared and got a clear look at Erin. Yep, that’s definitely what love looks like.
Damien had to look away. Their connection was so intimate, so intense. He felt a little sorry that he didn’t have that himself. Maybe it was time. Maybe he was ready, after all these years of playing sold-out concerts around the world and having pretty much everything he wanted with the snap of his fingers. He envied this thing that so many people around him seemed to have and which he’d never yet experienced.
A real partner. The kind of love that lasted a lifetime.
Jay approached them and immediately slung an arm around Erin’s shoulders. He nodded to Damien. “How’s it going, bro?”
Damien nodded back. He still wasn’t used to seeing Jay and Erin together, but at least now he understood it. “Good,” he replied, although the true answer was: Mixed up.
Erin grabbed her phone from her pocket. “I just got a text from Crystal,” she said, sending a significant glance at Damien.
He was about to say, “Don’t tell her you saw me.” But this was Erin. She would never betray a confidence. So he kept his mouth shut, and simply nodded.
