Page 12 of True Valor
He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak.
She wrapped her arms around him, her handshot on his belly, her body, wet and warm on his back.His eyesclosed.Explosions went off inside him.
With all the willpower he could muster, heturned around, taking her shoulders and moving her back a step.
“Julie, stop.”It was almost a croak.“Ican’t.”
Julie smiled, her eyes scanning down hisbody, and back up to lock with his.
“Yes, you can.”She moved closer, pressingagainst him.“I want to feel alive, Nic.”
Again, he moved away from her.“You arealive, Julie.And I’m going to make sure you stay alive.But Ican’t do this, tempting as it is.It’s not...I can’t.”He sweptthe shower curtain back, stepped out, grabbing a towel to wraparound his waist.She didn’t follow, thank God.He wasn’t sure hecould have refused again.Everything in him screamed.He moved tothe sink, his hands on the counter, as he caught his breath.
When Julie came out of the bedroom she woreher one pair of new jeans and his light-blue sweatshirt.It nearlyswallowed her, making her look even smaller, even morevulnerable.
“Through tattered clothes, small vices doappear.Robes and furred gowns hide all,” she said.
“What?”
She cast him a blank look.Then, she shruggedand sat down at the table, absently, shuffling the cards that laythere.
“Nothing.Thanks for letting me wearthis.”
Not pouting, exactly, but not talking either.She spent the next half hour playing solitaire while Nic, dyingfrom boredom, alternated between channel surfing the limitedselection of stations on the hotel TV and staring out the window atthe slopes.
“Why don’t we go skiing?”he said.
Julie didn’t even look up.“Why don’t you goskiing and leave me alone?”She turned over another three cards.“If you’re afraid I’ll leave, I can assure you I won’t.”She stoodand threw the remaining cards at the table.“Or maybe you couldjust lock me in my room.”She spat the words at him, strode intothe bedroom and slammed the door.
“Fine,” he said, more to himself than to theclosed door, “I’m outta here.”
Nic yanked his swim gear from the bag in thecloset and headed to the pool.He needed to move.And move somemore.Sitting made him bitchy.
The first mile in the pool clicked off someof his frustration.
By the fifth mile he felt better.
And when he hit mile ten, he was ready toface the rest of the day cooped up with Julie.
Before he went back upstairs, though, hestopped and called Cruz.Not for the first time, he wished hehadn’t been so adamant about spending this “vacation” disconnectedfrom technology.Maybe he should pick up a burner phone.But, inand out of the mountains, the service was spotty and…
“Cruz.”
“Tell me about amnesia.”As anticipated, Cruzwas ready with the medical facts.
“Since there’s no evidence of head injury,I’d guess it falls into the dissociative disorder category.Symptoms include,” Cruz was obviously reading now, “extreme moodswings from dull and restrained to impulsive and uninhibited,especially sexually.Patients exhibit the inability to makedecisions or perform simple tasks such as getting dressed.See anyof these in your girl?”
“Um, yeah.”
Cruz laughed.“Could be good for you, dude.Uninhibited sexually and inability to dress herself...”
Typical Cruz comment.
“Shut up.”
“Sorry.”Now his tone changed.“Actually,most of the symptoms are not serious and should abate once thememory comes back.But, there are instances of suicidal behavior,so watch her, man.”
When he got back to the room, Julie wasasleep on the bed, the shirt he’d left on the back of a chairclutched to her chest like a life preserver.Her red nose and puffyeyes gave away that she’d been crying.She must feel so alone.
