Page 111 of The Problem with Falling
I grumbled, lifted another piece of wood, removed the axe from the chopping block, then placed the wood down. “Yup,” I muttered before slicing the wood.
“Did you read it?”
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“Because it doesn’t matter what it says. She’s gone. She made that clear as fucking day. Don’t need a goodbye letter to cement the fact.”
“But she left the letters for a reason.”
“Yeah. To run away from any guilt she had about leaving. I’d rather not give her that comfort.”
I split another piece of wood.
“Now, Theo—”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I snapped, the rage of the whole situation building up in my system. I didn’t want to talk about Willow Kingsley ever again. I didn’t want to discuss my heartbreak or have someone tell me that Willow made a very hard choice. I didn’t want to be told that she did it from a place of love. That she left me because she figured it was what was best for me. That she abandoned me in order to protect me from her. Because it was bullshit. All of it was bullshit, and I didn’t want to understand Willow’s reasoning. I didn’t want to show her grace at that time. Because shebroke my fucking heart!
So fuck her letters and her reasoning.
She walked away.
She left me alone.
Even after I begged her to stay.
I promised myself I’d never beg for someone to stay ever again. I’d never drop down to my knees and ask someone not to walk away from me. I promised I’d be stronger than I’d been in the past. But I wasn’t. I begged her. I pleaded. I became weak at her feet all because of love.
Fucking love and its fucking bullshit ways of breaking people’s fucking hearts.
I didn’t want to talk about Willow ever again.
If anything, I wanted to bleach away the thoughts of her that haunted my soul. I dreamed of her nightly, yet the dreams felt like nightmares because whenever I’d wake, she’d still be gone.
So fuck Willow Kingsley.
Fuck her for waking up my heart and then leaving it shattered in a million pieces.
Grandma unfolded her letter and began to read it. “‘Dear Molly.’”
“Don’t do this, Grandma,” I urged.
She kept reading. “‘I’m sad to say that my time in Westin Lake has come to an end, but I hope you know that our friendship is something that I hope will exist past the reality of space and time. You have shown me what real power and strength look like in a woman, and I hope to be exactly like you as I grow older. Thank you for welcoming me into your world and allowing me to get a small taste of heaven. For a little while in Westin Lake, I felt as if I were dancing in nothing other than sunbeams. I know that’s because of you and your family’s love. Call me when you need me, and I’ll be there. I love you, friend, and I’ll miss you. PS I love him. I know you didn’t ask, and I know it might not seem to matter now that I’m leaving, but I love your grandson more than I ever thought possible. Please take care of his heart. I know it’s probably hurting a little.’ Signed, Willow.”
She loved me.
Hmph.
What an odd way she had of showcasing that love.
I chopped another piece of wood. Tossed the pieces to the side and grabbed another. Before I could chop it, Grandma grabbed my arm. “Theo, didn’t you hear the letter?”
“Yup.”
“Well…what are you waiting for? She loves you!”
“Don’t care.”
