Page 42 of Ms. Fortune
“I was having a beer with your former boss. I have to say, she leaves quite an impression.”
The truck jerked as his foot slipped on the gas. His head swiveled to look at me.
I pointed at the road and snapped, “Pay attention.”
“You saw Karsen? When? What did she say to you? Did she scare you or threaten you?” With each question, his voice rose.
I watched his hands tighten on the steering wheel until his knuckles were white. Tension practically radiated from him in waves.
“She apologized for her daughter trying to kill me and burning my house down. She offered to double the insurance payout so I could rebuild if I wanted to. She also sang your praises and told me you were a different man now that you no longer work for her. I got the impression she didn’t want me to be afraid of you. I didn’t have the guts to tell her she was way more frightening than you were.” I sat back in the seat properly and turned to look at him. “She promised to keep her kid on a leash, and if she doesn’t back off, she’s willing to let you handle the situation.”
“I called her to let her know what was going on. Karsen deals in dirty business, but she’s always kept a firm bottom line. She would never act out of jealousy and revenge the way Charley has. I just wanted her to know we were going to have a problem after the fire. And that the fixer market was going to end up missing a shit ton of contractors if Charley kept sending them after you. I didn’t expect her to intervene, and I didn’t plan on her showing up here. She’s always had a hands-off approach and let Charley make her own mistakes.” His voice lowered and sounded deadly serious. “Don’t take the money. The last person you want to beindebted to is a Booker. If you want to rebuild, I’ll give you the money. Don’t get mixed in with those people, Lucky.”
“Aren’t you that sort of person, Risky?” I laughed and shifted to look at the snow whizzing by the passenger window. “I’m already involved in things I wish I weren’t.”
I didn’t even dare ask about the body that had tumbled down into the valley. What I didn’t know couldn’t hurt me.
Risky sighed, and it seemed like he deflated next to me. “I wanted none of this. I retired. I left that life behind. I thought I could leave behind the guy Karsen needed me to be as well. People can change. I wanted to become someone different. At first, it was only for me, but the more I got to know you, I wanted to be a guy who fit into your life. Not one who risked it.”
I chuckled again, but it was dry and brittle. “I’ve never been lucky in anything. Why would I ever think love might be an exception?”
Risky looked at me again. This time, his voice was soft, and he sounded fragile. “Do you love me, Lucky?”
“Probably.” Love was such an unknown for me. I’d always treated it like a deadly disease. It was something to be avoided at all costs. And now that I was infected, it really seemed like it might kill me and anyone I spread it to. “God help us both.”
“Pull off over there.” I pointed out the windshield to the scenic overlook that had the best view of the valley and the river. You couldn’t see anything beyond the blizzard, but I wasn’t ready to face the remains of my scorched dreams just yet.
Risky obediently pulled the truck off the road. His gaze was also locked on the flurries on the other side of the glass.
The warm interior of the truck was as silent as the snow falling. There was so much to say. It remained muted and still, as neither one of us could find the right words. I knew that Risky wanted to convince me to let him stay while I was hung up on trying to make him leave. Not because I feared him or struggled with all the valid moral reasons I shouldn’t care about him. I wanted him gone so that he wouldn’t be forced to bring back the man he had been before he retired. He firmly believed people could change. Maybe he was right. But I knew, down to my bones, my unfortunate luck was here indefinitely, and that meant he would never get his simple, boring life if he insisted on staying by my side.
“Don’t you think the fire was a sign that it’s time for you to move on?” I turned my whole body in his direction and stared at him until he turned his head to look at me. “There’s nothing keeping you here. You should find somewhere warm and tropical to enjoy your retirement. Or, if you insist on stayingin the mountains, go to Europe. It’s so much cheaper to enjoy winter sports there than it is in the States. This can’t be the only place you have fond memories of.” I exhaled. “Being with me is hard, and you said you’re ready for an easy life.”
He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, and I watched a muscle in his cheek twitch as he clenched his teeth.
He shook his head, and his voice was low and rough with anger when he asked, “What do you mean, nothing’s left? You’re here.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but the way the gold in his eyes glinted like a weapon forced me to bite the words back.
“I didn’t run into a fire to save a fucking building, or because I had gotten the warm fuzzies from a nice older couple a few years back. I did it to saveyou.” His dark brows furrowed, and the tapping stopped as his fingers curled into a grip tight enough to turn his knuckles white again. “Being with you isn’t hard. Paying a debt you owe in blood is. You can be challenging, but I like that about you. And it doesn’t change how kind you are. You underestimate how much your goodness appeals to a man like me, Lucky. I don’t care if I have to grow you a field of four-leaf clovers or constantly wear a rabbit’s foot around my neck—I choose you. And I will do whatever it takes to keep you in one piece. Regardless of whether I have to fight against you and everyone else. Because I probably love you back.”
I could’ve stayed strong if he’d never uttered the L-word.
It wasn’t the first time someone had confessed their love to me. I usually viewed those words as a trap and a dead end. I knew I could never match that level of emotion or give so much of myself in return. When someone said they loved me, my first instinct was to call them a liar, and my second was to run away. Those feelings had only intensified after the way my relationship with Baker ended. He’d wielded his love like a weapon that heused to hurt and control me. I never wanted to get stuck in such an unhealthy cycle again.
The uncertainty and unease within Risky’s admission made the declaration less terrifying and more believable.
We were two people, unsure of our feelings and of each other. However, we could recognize that we were more than likely the best option for one another. He didn’t care that I was cursed with bad luck. And I didn’t mind that he was a retired bad guy. Well, I could learn not to let his past get to me so much. Right now, it still loomed like a dark cloud covering the sky.
Risky reached across the truck and held my face between his hands. One of his thumbs brushed over my lips, and his voice was barely above a whisper when he told me, “Don’t let anyone take what belongs to you, Lucky.”
It wasn’t clear if he was talking about the property or himself. Either way, as soon as I’d stepped into his truck, I’d subconsciously decided to hold on to both.
I grabbed one of his wrists and pulled his hand away from my face. I turned it over and placed a kiss on his palm. His hands had always been too soft and unblemished to belong to a handyman. I didn’t want to be the reason he got them dirty again.
I needed to do a better job of avoiding the trouble that came looking for me, and recognizing that when it found me, it wasn’t always my fault. I’d let my parents’ refrain—that I was a burden to everyone I encountered—define my worth for too long. I needed to love myself enough that I wouldn’t even notice the lack of theirs. And if they didn’t want me, there was a man right in front of me who did.
I pushed the center divider out of the way and let Risky pull me across the seat.
