Page 66 of Break My Heart
‘I haven’t met him. Mandy thinks it’s too soon. We’ve only been dating for a month. How about you? Are you seeing anyone?’
I instantly think of Sawyer, but say, ‘No. I’m too busy working to date.’
‘You sound like me,’ he says with a smile.
He’s right. I do. But that’s not what I want.
I don’t want to be like Ryder, always working and not having a personal life. His obsession with his business destroyed us. We didn’t even have a chance to make it work, not that it would’ve even if he was home more. Ryder and I weren’t good together. Sometimes I think I only dated him because he was older and established in his career. Compared to younger guys, Ryder felt stable and secure, two things I desperately wanted when I was growing up. Having a mom who died and a father who took off all the time left me feeling unsure and afraid, never knowing what might happen next.
‘What do you say? You want me to help you win?’
I take a moment to consider it, my gaze going to the bills piling up on my desk. The money my grandfather left me is long gone. Now I’m relying on profits to not only keep the place open but to support myself. I need publicity, and winning this competition is the fastest and cheapest way to get it.
‘The cider is in the storeroom,’ I say.
Ryder smiles. ‘I can’t wait to try it.’
‘You can go wait by the tasting table. I’ll be there in a minute.’
He leaves and I shut the door and call Sawyer.
‘Hey,’ he answers, in a cheery tone. I love that about him. He always seems happy. Even when he’s angry, like when I beat him at stuff, he gets over it fast and goes back to being his usual upbeat self. I wish I was more like that. ‘Do you want me to pick you up? I should’ve asked you that this morning, but—’
‘I can’t make it. I can’t come to dinner.’
‘Because of work? You won’t be gone long. We’re keeping the dinner short since Nash needs to drive back to Chicago tonight.’
‘Sawyer, I’m sorry, but I can’t. I’m having some issues here and I can’t leave. Tell your mom I apologize for not being there and thank her for the invite. Or I could call her myself. Do I call the orchard number or how do I reach her?’
‘Don’t worry about it. I’ll tell her. I’m at the orchard right now. I checked the barn and the wood is still there for your table. I think I found the perfect piece. If I get time I’ll start on it this week.’
‘Sawyer, you don’t have to do that. I can just buy a table.’
‘It won’t take long. If I use the metal legs like I have at the brewery, I could put it together in a few hours. But if you’d rather buy a new table, that’s okay too. I was just trying to make good on our deal.’ He laughs a little. ‘I did promise to fix your table.’
‘You did.’ I smile.
‘I’ll let you go. You want me to save you some leftovers? Your fridge looked pretty empty and my mom will insist I bring you something since you couldn’t make it.’
‘That would be great. Thanks.’
‘I’ll drop it off later.’
‘Just bring it back to the brewery. I’ll come pick it up.’ I don’t want him coming to my apartment. It might lead to us having sex and we probably shouldn’t do that again.
‘Yeah, okay. I probably won’t be there until around six.’
‘I’ll text you before I head over. Bye, Sawyer.’ I end the call, annoyed with myself for having all these feelings for him. I wasreally looking forward to this dinner, seeing Sawyer and watching him with his family. I always wanted a family like his, with siblings and parents who were around. My grandfather did the best he could raising me, but he couldn’t replace my mom or give me the type of family other kids had.
‘Hey, Gina!’ Ryder yells.
I get up and go out to the tasting area, which is between the office and the storeroom. It has a big long table where I hope to someday host tasting events. The metal fermenting tanks are just behind it. People like seeing those, which is why I didn’t hide them behind a wall. I left the area open, thinking I might do tours and tastings if G’s became popular.
‘You already tried them?’ I ask, noticing my ciders lined up on the table. I’m a little angry he took them without asking, but that’s Ryder. He does what he wants.
‘Just the first one.’ He holds up a glass that’s half full of cider. ‘You see how cloudy this is? This wouldn’t make it through the first round.’
‘Yeah, I was going to dump that one.’ I walk over to him. ‘You should’ve waited for me. I was going to explain what I did.’
