Page 7 of Nine Inch Nasty
Delaney [sinking onto the couch next to him]: Nothing's ever going to change in Glittertopia if somebody doesn't take that first step. It's okay to like different things, Saladriel. It's okay not to, either. But sometimes... sometimes we find things that we enjoy that we’re taught to think are weird or shameful even, but in reality, they end up being great sources of joy. Just think of all the possibilities if you let this go free!
Saladriel: But what are the other unicorns going to think of me when they hear about what I did with my mouth? It's not meant for these purposes. I was created to be wholesome!
Me [probably jumping in too early, but I'm pretty bad at being patient]: Did you trip and accidentally suck someone’s dick?That happens more often than you'd think. And mistake or not, enjoying having a cock in your mouth is nothing to be ashamed of. It's completely natural, actually.
Saladriel [looking up at me horrified]: No! How would that even happen? Do you see any other males around?
Me [gesturing towards Delaney]: Hey, you're role-playing other things, strap-ons are hot. Real flesh or not, you could still like having one in your mouth.
Saladriel [curling up into a ball]: This is the single worst day of my life. I'll never get the stain out of these pants, either. These are my favorite ones! [Begins to sob hysterically]
Delaney [patting Saladriel on the back]: Now that's just not true. I have three different types of stain removers in my apartment alone that will remove cum. If none of those work, there's more at my mom's house. I guarantee you there's no cum stain we can't get out between the two of us.
Saladriel [looking hopeful finally]: You mean that?
Delaney: I don’t know why you don’t just shift and manifest new ones, but yes; we still need to talk about this though. It sounded stupid earlier, but I really think this could be... part of the problem here. You guys really don't know how to find joy in anything, do you?
Saladriel [sits up to wipe his eyes]: Hold my hand while I tell him? This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done.
Me [very stupidly]: Lucky for all of us, it's not the hardest thing I've done. That honor goes to Leo.
Delaney laughs but covers it up with a cough, tries to scowl at me, and then finally fixes her face and turns back to her distraught pseudo-mate.
Saladriel: I... ate a spoonful of buttercream; [pauses to let the horror sink in] and I enjoyed it!
Delaney: There, there. I'm proud of you! Who’s a big, brave unicorn?
Me [very stupidly]: Um, Delaney? Do you have a unicorn name, and are we into the mane pulling? Serious inquirers want to know.
Saladriel [outraged]: Her mane isn't even real! That was a stupid question! [Takes a deep breath to compose himself]
Me [completely missing the social cues]: Okay... and at what point during that exchange did you come in your pants?
Saladriel [bursts out crying again]: I told you he was going to judge me!
Delaney [looking dangerous like she has a point to prove]: He's not judging you, he genuinely wants to know.[Turns to me] It was the frosting. It hit his tongue, and he swallowed, he looked at me, and that's all it took.
Me: You sure it wasn't this horsey get up you were wearing when it happened that caused it?
Delaney [waving me off]: Positive. I was completely naked when he ate it.
Saladriel [crying big, fat, ugly, tears that probably taste as much like sprinkles as they look]: My whole life, I thought I was demisexual. Turns out I'm buttercream sexual! I'll never be able to look at my mother again.
Me: You're right, this plan is ironclad. He looks... happy as can be. This is definitely going to save the realm.
Delaney [sighing in exhaustion]: It's a stupid plan, isn't it? Thinking I could just give the unicorns something that actuallytastes good and everything will go right to how it should have always been? I have no idea what I'm doing.
Me: It's at least worth a try. You might want to slap a warning label on anything you feed those unicorns out there, though. Don't think I like the idea of making that many people come at once. Surprisingly.
[Saladriel sobs again]
Chapter Four
Cory
I fall gently on my ass, spluttering. Literally have no idea where I am or how I got here. I do know I'm offended, though.
“How dare you! I'm a perfectly respectable person! I never asked for you to touch me in such a hedonistic way. Look at me, practically clutching my pearls!”
