Page 62 of Nine Inch Nasty
I make eye contact with both of them, and then we all start laughing so hard a tiny bit of pee comes out, because really, how the hell do you even react to this situation? The entire building now knows what I sound like when I have sex, knows intimate things about nearly all of my mates, and had to sit there and be traumatized while the three of us got off.
I think the exorbitant holiday bonus that’s already in the budget makes sense now.
Best. Job. Ever.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Delaney's Journal
Dear Journal,
Can you believe how far we’ve come in such a short amount of time? It seems like just yesterday I was mooning over August and Jackson and trying to figure out my complicated relationship with Adam, and now…
Journal, I’m standing here in the most beautiful cream dress you’ve ever seen.
Well, you don’t have eyes so I guess that statement is truer than I meant it to be. I dressed you up to match, because I was feeling sentimental.
Sometime over the course of the development of my relationships with my entire circuit, I stopped needing you somuch. There comes a day in every woman’s life where she starts confiding in actual people and leaves the diary she used to need behind.
I’m here to tell you it’s me, it isn’t you. We can totally still be friends. I’ll check in with you occasionally just to say hi and remind you I exist, and maybe even fill some of your pages with what I’m up to. I might need you after all, who knows; there’s so much changing in my life right now, and writing about it might end up being the best way to process it all. Who knows?
Today is my mating ceremony, Journal. Since you don’t know anything, let me tell you. I’m completely glammed up, and as soon as I’m done writing to you, I’ll be meeting all of my fathers and my brother and my mom, and they’ll be walking me down an aisle, between chairs full of my new in-laws and some friends, and I’ll be meeting my mates there to promise forever to them.
It’s maybe a little redundant because we’ve already marked each other, but this is the part our families get to take part in, and the part where we do it on purpose. That feels important and very grown up.
I’m scared, Journal. Not of baring my soul in front of hundreds of people, but of taking this step. Because we’ve finished all our training at headquarters and this ceremony is doubling as my coronation.
My mom is going to be putting this awful, gaudy crown on top of my head and I’ll also have to tell the cameras there that are broadcasting the ceremony to anyone that wants to see me sworn in, how I feel about being their new voice. I have to promise I’ll protect them and fight for them, and I’ll present my mates to them as their new council and…nothing is ever going to be like it was.
We’re not going to be a bunch of college kids blindly stumbling around and hoping we get something right, we have to start running the government and helping people with problems affecting their lives.
Am I ready for this much responsibility, Journal?
I guess it doesn’t really matter at this point. Be honest; did you know the whole time this was where I’d end up? You sneaky little bitch. You totally did, didn’t you?
Oh my gods, I think my mates are singing. They sound kind of awful, but…it’s kind of sweet. Hang on, I’m going to open the window.
I’m back. Yep. I stuck my head out the window, and they’re all down on one knee, singing some mushy, romantic song that they must have been practicing, all facing the window in my suite. That’s the kind of coordination and teamwork that gives them orgasms.
It didn’t take us very long to plan the ceremony because I think all of us were a bit anxious to get to it, and I know my parents have been imagining this day since I was born, so everybody pitched in to make it happen.
I know that those men down there are the reason I’m so happy and will continue to be the reason my heart is in such good health. They’re such good partners, Journal. Every one of them is constantly surprising me with little things that seem inconsequential to them, but that mean everything to me.
Like this morning, I had to meet a team of professional hair and makeup people to get ready, and a bunch of my mates woke up early to make a big breakfast spread, but only made my favorite foods.
Or a few days ago, when they knew I had to finish a report before I could start my vacation, a bunch of them showed up and helped me get it done faster. Maybe those are little things, and things that are expected in a healthy relationship of any sort, but they make me feel like the luckiest damn woman in the world. Just the way they smile at me…it makes the good shivers go all over my body every time, Journal.
So I think it’s time. Thank you for being on this journey with me, for watching me grow and become my best self. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind, but I think that’s what I needed.
My journey isn’t the journey my mother went on, but it’s no less important. My trials were…much stranger…but I think every parent hopes their kid grows up to not have to struggle through the same things they did. My parents gave me this incredible life and all the tools to be successful, and I’m constantly understanding how ready I really am for this new role.
Shit. I’m ready.
My hair is perfect, my makeup is bright and fun, and my dress is going to challenge every one of my mates to stay soft during our vows, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Got to go, Journal. I’ve got a destiny to grab by the balls.
Chapter Twenty-Four
