Page 41 of Nine Inch Nasty
“If I might, what exactly is aNine Inch Nasty?”
Cory waves their hand at me dismissively. “No one actually knows.”
Naturally, I turn to Rush, who seemed so sure of what it was. “You mentioned it was a relic of your realm? What are we looking for? And why do we know this prophecy is ours to fulfill? Just because we're having the issues we are?”
Rush tips his head back to look at me. Every time he does this, I get the urge to lean forward and touch him. This is going to become a thing soon. “We know it's a thing, that it's from Hell, and we know that in the past, various groups have been called to wield it. But there is no standing record of exactly what ‘it’ is. Only that it’s called the Nine Inch Nasty. There have been times where more research has tried to bring the truth of it outto the public, but something always happens to prevent it. For instance, one journalist got eaten by a shark.”
“That sounds very unpleasant. But surely everyone knows the risk of swimming in oceans?” I may have been stone for a long time, but even I know this information.
Cory chimes in. “I believe they lived in the middle of a desert when it happened. They were visiting an aquarium? Fell into the tank randomly. No one was around to fish them out and they couldn't swim. Besides that, this relic was believed to be cursed, so researching it hadn't been attempted in years; but there's always somebody who thinks they won’t be affected. Before the guy that got eaten by a shark, there was a woman who thought she could use her cleverness to be the one to discover the truth of the Nine Inch Nasty, and she became so infected with syphilis that there is now a museum dedicated to her in her hometown.”
I mouth the word ‘syphilis’ to myself and frown, because even the word sounds unpleasant. Luckily, there are plenty of smart people around me.
Delaney, our sexual health expert, has the answer for this one. “She was just sleeping with a bunch of random people and not protecting herself? Seems like she was asking for something bad to happen.”
“She was a virgin,” Rush informs us. “She was in a terrible accident and needed a blood transfusion. Even though blood is heavily screened, she was somehow given some that was infected with the disease. Because she hadn't been in sexual contact with anybody, her doctors never thought to test her for syphilis and didn't get the diagnosis until it already affected her internal organs.”
“Coincidence. How many times can this have happened?” Delaney asks.
“It doesn't matter,” Cory says. “The point is, we know the Nine Inch Nasty randomly appears to whoever is expected to use it, it surfaces roughly every 10 years in different parts of the world, and it’s always to a group of people that perfectly match the prophecy. Let me write this out for you.”
Even though it's a bit jostling in a moving van, Cory fishes a notebook out of their backpack and writes down the prophecy they already recited for us. “There, you see?Mystical, proud, demonic, strong, empty of none, until it came along.Mystical in our case could refer to the unicorns, the proud are the lions, whom we literally call apride. Demonic, we just got that on the road. Confirmed and handled by our resident demon boy. Thanks, Rush.”
“No problem, my person,” Rush says with a shrug, closing his eyes and leaning his head back as if we aren’t dealing with a slight existential crisis. I suppose he deserves to rest though, if he just spent three weeks squashing a demon uprising.
“The strong, Leo that's probably going to be you. Be prepared for other gargoyles at some point. The slithering, come on we have a naga, the watery, Adam, the hooved blessed? That's obviously Wil. Last two remaining,emotional,andnull? Spencer reads emotions and then we have the twins who are both shields, also known as nulls.
“We have every single one of these. It is worth pointing out that we likely won’t face an issue with every single one of our factions, but as the prophecy says, ‘Come trouble two times amongst such named, you can be sure more comes for which you will be blamed.’We’ve gotten two issues amongst the named, andwe can expect there to be at least a few more issues at some point; at least one of which we’ll only be able to get through with the relic, when its ready to be wielded.”
“Well, we'll see,” Delaney says, clearly not putting much stock into it. “If a random magical object falls into my lap, I'll believe it and take it seriously. I'll do my due diligence. Right now though, I think we need to worry about these silly cats more than we need to worry about fitting ourselves into a prophecy that might or might not be ours.”
By the time we’re pulling up to the address provided, I think all of us are a little tense and waiting for something resembling the title ‘Nine Inch Nasty’ to magically appear from the sky, but most likely Delaney will be the first to discover it if Cory’s right.
She's on guard, but she's also focused on the task at hand as we try and figure out how to approach this issue with Ash’s pride.
I voiced my suggestion, that we should just go in there and smash down all of the pretenders, because you can't have infighting in the pride if thereisno pride.
Delaney did not prefer this method though.
It’s dark out, and there’s still a loud party of revelers at a bonfire when we exit our shiny new vehicle. Luckily, we have our inside man, Ryan, there to keep us abreast of what is happening. “I'm so glad you guys are here. We've tried to stall them as long as possible, but the drunker they get, the more eager they are to do stupid-ass shit.”
“Well, I guess that's my cue. Come on, lion man.” Delaney grabs Ash by a fistful of his shirt, towing him behind her. He's all too happy to acquiesce, being tugged around like a puppy.
She's more confident tonight, and it's seriously a good look on her. I thought I couldn't have been more enchanted with her and her beautiful brain, but seeing her dive into a rowdy pride, without balking?
Yes, it's giving me massive anxiety, and I'm definitely a step behind the two of them to make sure they're safe, but I find myself not too worried about the outcome.
Everybody's definitely tipsy, that's obvious immediately when we get to the bonfire. They're laughing loudly, dancing like idiots, getting way too close to the fire. There's music too, far too loud to be enjoyable, and nobody notices us at first.
That's when Delaney lets out a loud whistle that has my eardrums ringing. Then she climbs onto a stump so she's above everybody, able to see across the clearing. “Ash, which one of these is your cousin?”
There's laughter in one corner of the gathering, and one man comes swaggering up to us as the music lowers, thumbs tucked in his pockets and lacking a shirt. “What kind of pride male sends his mate to do his dirty work? See, everybody? This is what I'm talking about. He's been absent since he took the position because he's too busy messing around with his mate that's too young for him. Is that the kind of leadership you want? One who casts you aside when they're too busy?”
There’re agreements and mumbles, but nobody outright disagrees with him. Obviously, Ash’s cousin has already worked these people all onto his side. I’m sure the copious amounts of alcohol helped.
Delaney laces her fingers and pushes them outward, stretching them before shaking them out. Then she nods and stretches her neck on both sides. “It's my understanding that lion prides take matings seriously. Are leaders not gifted the standard two weeks to acclimate to being newly mated? To their fated mate, no less? But he hasn't really taken that time, has he? I know, because he's been out of my bed and dealing with shit you guys have been pulling way too often. You want to look at me again, and tell mehe's been letting you down? If you need somebody to hold your hand and help you cross the street, I'm sure we can get a sign-up sheet going.”
The guy isn't laughing anymore. In fact, he's quite angry. This makes me happy.
