Page 17 of Nine Inch Nasty
One by one, they start to whine, proving that they can’t even have fun when they’re rescued. “We wanted to be fed to the beautiful fire! You ruined everything!”
“Really wish I had Saladriel here to interpret; because it sounds like you just said you wanted toburn to death.”
Another one of the hostage unicorns pipes up. “That was going to be one of the most exciting things that ever happened to us. We would have gone down in history! I'msurethey would have erected statues in our honor had we been sacrificed! And you just had to take that away because you couldn't handle somebody else getting the attention, could you?”
I'm literally speechless.
“Hey, have you guys ever had cheese before?” Cory asks, further confusing everyone in the situation.
One of them spits, crossing themselves in some sort of religiously fanatical way that must mean something here, another falls to their knees and starts sobbing with her arms up yelling, “Why gods why?”
“Yikes. What a fucking mess,” Adam says as he looks around. “You guys are pathetic.”
Oh, they get sassy real quick. Try to convince them that you don’t think their current way of life is working for them, and they suddenly develop a personality.
“Oh? And I supposeyouhave a better idea about how to spend an afternoon, do you? Because newsflash, there's nothing better in this realm.”
“Yeah, I really don't think that's true,” Adam responds to the sassy unicorns as he starts side-eye fucking me pretty damn heavily.
He also starts bonering pretty damn heavily as well, but that can be seen from the front as well as the side.
Fairygoddess floats down to us, putting on an air of being quite happy, but there's a healthy dose of rage in her eyes as she addresses us in front of her people. “Well, how exciting. I guess I'm not clever enough for my champion.” She titters, which is actually kind of like nails on a chalk board at this point, her dump truck ass jiggling with the sound.
“It seems my plans were ruined. Sorry folks, but it's time to go home. Show’s over. Anybody still here in 15 minutes will be made to visit the Happymaker™ for an hour.”
The spectators descend into pandemonium as everyone in the stadium basically tramples over each other to get out fast, but we only get a few steps away before the goddess catches us.
No, literally. She lassos our cloud.
“This was merely a test. The real trials will be... much harder. My people still hate you, so I think I'm winning.”
This is exhausting.Sheis exhausting. “I'm sorry, but what? Didn’t you bring me here to save your realm? What even is your point right now? How was any of this,” I say as I wave to the destruction of her cloud arena, “supposed to help that end? Ifyou truly wanted to help your people, you'd help them. Instead of putting on stupid shows for people that clearly didn't even want to be here.”
She gasps with her hand clutched to her chest, covering up one of her heaving bosoms. “How dare you! They adore me. And of course they wanted to be here, didn't you hear them? This is the most fun they've had an ages!”
I look at the group of unicorns behind me trying to hide, clearly not wanting to be confrontational. “Yeah, don't think they got that memo.”
She opens her mouth to say something, but then bites her tongue, flips her hair, and storms off, yelling something about making some new salt free recipes for her famous cabbage soup.
Might as well try to fix some of the rapport between me and this group of unicorns that couldn’t be less interested in mating me if I told them I planned on repainting the entire stadium an off-white one square foot at a time and invited them to watch. “Look, I don't want to be here any more than you guys probably want me here, but if any of you actually want to be happy or are interested in changing your outlook to save this realm, I'm going to need help to do it. I can't help people that don't want to help themselves.”
That gets their attention a bit more. “What do you have in mind? And what did you do to Saladriel?”
“Nothing. He's off helping me with my tasks at his apartment, which is where I was when I got yanked here. He's on board to help. We found some pretty interesting... revelations about him. I don't know if he'll share it with the class, but I bet I can recreate the, uh... results.”
Cory can't hold back their laughter as they start clutching their stomach, clearly remembering what they walked in on earlier with Saladriel and the buttercream.
Before they can share any details, I call from my shoulder where to meet later and ask everyone in the group to spread the word, hoping against hope we can find our way back to either Saladriel or the hotel.
Chapter Eight
Adam
“Oh my gods, Delaney. Shut the fuck up already and kiss me.” I yank Cory by the collar too, making sure they know not to go anywhere as well, wrapping one arm around their waist and the other around Delaney.
“Not sure how many fucking days I was away from you two, but it was way too damn many. That was so stupid. Whatever needs to happen, so that that never happens again, we're doing.” And like the romantic I am, I shove my tongue down the lady’s throat first, then Cory’s, and then we take part in an epic three-way that’s honestly probably disgusting from the outside looking in, but that tastes like petrichor. Which is odd, considering there's no dirt here for the rain to stir up ozone from.
Delaney starts trembling, all the adrenaline from whatever her and Cory just went through clearly hitting her. But she clings onto me and Cory, letting us support her when she's too weak to stand on their own. And we are her mates, so this is our job.
