Page 40 of Nine Inch Nasty
I’m not asking any more questions, and I certainly don’t want any more answers, so I’m thankful when Rush encouragesAugust to start driving again, assuring him that hitting the demon was nowhere close to his fault.
Not long after that, behaving far too normal for what we just went through, Cory brings up the prophecy he’s now firmly convinced is ours, and recites it from memory.
“Somewhere on the hills of sun
Lie nine tribes of trouble and fun.
Mystical, proud, demonic, strong,
Empty of nothing until it came along.
Beware ye sweet maids who summon the might
Of the Nine Inch Nasty and forced into its rite.
Curses will bubble shall you fail to best
The slithering, the watery, or the hooved blessed.
But come ye on top during this trial of strength,
Your fortunes shall become triple the length.
Come trouble two times amongst such named,
You can be sure more comes for which you will be blamed.
For a party of twelve who fight side by side
Valor they’ll win, and the heart of their bride.
For the last two remaining, emotional and null,
Work hard with your kin and will your cup be overfull.
THIS IS THE PROPHECY BY WHICH YOU SHALL BE MEASURED. SHOULD THE NINE INCH NASTY FALL INTO YOUR GRASP, IT IS YOUR RESPONISIBILITY TO WEILD IT UNTIL IT DEEMS YOUR MISSION COMPLETE.”
“You’re telling me we have to find some magical artifact to subdue the trouble brewing? Why? Because Delaney doesn’t have enough on her plate?” I clarify.
Cory wavers their hand back and forth at me. “Whoever is called to bear this and wield it is awarded with untold riches and magic. Like…we’re talking coming into lavish houses randomly while all of their loved ones magically become well taken care of andhealthy. It’s also known as the unicorn prophecy because it’s so magical.”
“And no one knows it exists,” I mumble. Also like unicorns.
There’s just one thing I don’t understand. Well, lots of things, actually. But one big, burning question. “What happens, historically, to those that fail the mission? Like what if they don’t realize the prophecy is real and don’t properly utilize the…Nine…Inch…Nasty?”
“Oh yeah, they become like,supercursed,” Cory says happily. “Look, I actually have a book about them in my bag! I had a feeling it would make for good road trip reading.”
They produce a hardcover, glossy book, full of images of pretty people before and after the curse. They become covered in pustules and lose their hair, the after pictures looking more like severely malnourished bog witches than human beings.
“Right. I guess we should take this seriously, then? Just in case?” Delaney asks.
Cory opens up a particularly gruesome picture where one woman’s poor breasts have completely deflated and that’s enough to make Delaney want to jump two feet into the whole mission thing.
If we could just catch a break for like even a weekend, that would be fucking swell.
Chapter Fifteen
Leo
