Page 39 of Nine Inch Nasty
Then I remember that Cory’s got some sort of premonition magic, so I think that makes his opinions on this matter a bit more important.
“You think they’re related?” I ask, wondering why that would occur to them.
“We’ll know for sure if we come up on a problem with either gargoyles or demons. Either of those things happen, I’ll know for sure we’re in for it.”
“In for what, exactly?” Delaney asks, as mystified as the rest of us.
Cory looks around the van, confused. “How could you not know?”
Adam ruffles Cory’s hair affectionately. “Babe, they don’t spend their spare time reading obscure texts about famed prophecies.”
Cory looks at Adam like they’re offended. “That can’t be true. They’re fascinating!”
Delaney reaches behind us to grab Cory’s hand. “Tell me about it? It seems kind of impossible that these two unrelated events could be related, but I’m always entertained by a good conspiracy theory.”
“Are you talking about the tale of the Nine-Inch Nasty?” Rush asks, completely straight faced.
Delaney chokes and I swear to you she says something under her breath about that being a nickname her mom has for one of her fathers. And maybe pukes in her mouth just a little bit.
Cory passes her a stick of gum and then responds to Rush. “You know it?”
Rush has given up trying to fit in his more human form, so he’s rocking his blue skin with the horns, but secretly I think it’s because he’s trying super hard to tempt Delaney into using them as handlebars. Might have seen him and Leo making bets.
Rush starts absently stroking his hair, smoothing it around those horns, trying to make Delaney look at them. And look she does. He’s using his fingers over those horns like they’re his cock and he’s jacking off. Ridiculous.
“The Nine Inch Nasty? It is one of Hell’s proudest relics. Remember the last time it was called to service?”
“I’m so behind,” Delaney confesses, pausing the two from nerding out over something strange. “What’s going on?”
The van hits something and drives right over it, making all of us brace ourselves as August slams on the brakes and pulls to the shoulder. We all sit in silence for a moment, staring straight ahead. If we don’t know what we hit, there can’t be consequences, right?
Delaney is the first to snap. “Fine. I’ll go look.” Delaney unbuckles, which is met with all of us forcing her to keep her ass in the car as half of us go to check it out.
I bring Rush, because he’s a scary ass demon, and Leo, because he’s a scary ass gargoyle, and me, because I’m a…well, you get the idea.
Also, Cory, because they’re already convinced it’s a demon.
Which is ridiculous, because why would there be a random demon out here crossing a road? Canonically, demons stay in Hell.
Rush takes point, walking carefully up to the puddle of slime now in the road that’s smoking slightly.
He bends over it, hovers his hand, and then with a few whispered words, the slime begins to evaporate, and he…inhales it. That’s gross.
“Be right back” he says before disappearing without any further warning.
We’re all looking around, scared to go tell Delaney her demon man disappeared, but she’s outside anyway, jogging to the scene while Adam and Spencer chase her. She’s too fast for them though, reaching our side to see exactly who’s missingimmediately. That’s good, I might be alarmed if that escaped her notice.
True to his word, Rush reappears shortly after, hands on his hips like he’s a damn superhero, reeking of sulfur. Also, his clothes are now torn and his hair’s all disheveled. And are those scratches on his neck? He’s unphased as he nods to us all. “If we were hoping to avoid any trouble with the demons, we’re screwed. There’s a full-on riot going on down there again. The last time hell was that crazy was when that teacher snuck in contraband cupcakes and freaked everybody out.
“Don’t worry though, I think I handled it. There was a massive competition going on to determine who would get the honor of branding my ass, but I told them all about you, Delaney. They were kind of pissed and were about to storm up here and make you into a rug, but I sent them all to the Happymaker™, so I think we’re good.”
Delaney checks his ass, just to be sure, and he reassures her she’s the only one he’d let do that.
I think we’re all more than a little confused though, so I speak up. No one else seems to know what question to ask first. “How the fuck did you do all that in the 15 seconds you were gone?”
Rush looks at me likeI’mthe crazy one. “Um, I was gone three weeks. Did you think time moved at the same pace down there? It moves extra fast so we can fit in more torture. Come on, let’s go fill in everybody else and keep driving.”
He pulls Delaney aside to whisper yell that he commissioned a custom brand in Hell with a ruby-encrusted handle and starts gushing about how proud he’s about to make his dad when the time comes to use it.
