Page 56 of A Breath of Life
Cursing, I slid my phone across the desk forcefully enough that it cascaded off the edge and clattered to the ground. “I fucking hate people.”
Echo laid her head on my lap, staring with sad puppy eyes.
“Not you, stupid. I like you. You’re not people.” I scratched her ear, but it didn’t bring my blood pressure down. I wanted a smoke sofucking bad my insides jittered with anticipation. I should never have bummed one the previous day. I knew I would regret it.
My head throbbed, tanking my mood further. If my limbs weren’t stiff and sore, I would have taken my frustrations out on a punching bag for an hour, but the gym wasn’t an option until I could stand up and sit down without groaning.
After examining my face in the mirror that morning, I realized my broken nose didn’t need to be reset. Had the Bishop fixed it? Who fucking knew? Either way, I was glad I didn’t have to do it on my own or go to a hospital where some nosy doctor or nurse might ask a hundred questions.
Although some top-notch painkillers would have been nice.
Rooting through a desk drawer, I came up with a generic bottle of aspirin and chewed three tablets dry, barely registering the acrid taste. Chasing them down with a couple of shots of the Consigliere’s bourbon would have been amazing. A nice blanket of numbness called to me on a cellular level.
The liquor store was three blocks away, taunting me. Then, I envisioned the disappointed look on Tallus’s face if he found out. He rarely verbalized his opinion outright, but he hated it when I drank to block out the world.
I petted Echo instead, fighting the cravings eating me alive. My skin felt too tight. My nerves twitched.
“—certain… predilections.”
Pinching my eyes closed didn’t help. The vault had opened. From the darkness of my mind,hepeered back. Like I didn’t have enough problems without my past creeping in to haunt me. It had been a long time since his face had outranked my father’s.
Every muscle in my body coiled tighter and tighter. I needed to relax. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t focus.
The calming bliss of a cigarette or the detached pleasure brought on by a few shots of whiskey threatened my resolve. For half a minute, I contemplated how difficult it might be to get hold of a few oxy.For the pain, I told myself, but it was a lie and a goddamn slippery slope. I knew the bliss of an oxy haze all too well. Chances were, Buren could hook me up without flinching. All I had to do was call him back and ask.
What was one more problem on top of the mountain I’d incurred?
Resisting the urge, I shuffled upright, shaking off the past and the lure toward old habits as I focused on the task at hand. Clarence. I needed to locate Clarence.
Except, locating Clarence would have to wait until after I chatted with Buren. Besides, Tallus might get pissed if I did too much without him, especially since I’d given him the impression he could help.
Shuffling that mission aside, I focused on a more personal issue: discovering who had kidnapped me, where they were hiding, and making a plan to fucking kill them for daring to threaten the only two people I loved and sending my fragilely happy life into a tailspin.
With the scant information I retained from my captivity, I drew up a street view of Old Toronto and a map of the subway lines. Slowly and meticulously, I virtually walked every path, zooming in on buildings that fit a certain criterion while trying to find a door that triggered a memory.
It would have been easier to get in the Jeep and drive the bloody roads, but since my captors were tracking my every move, I didn’t want them to question my motives. If they thought I was huntingthemdown, they might not be happy.
15
Tallus
At five twenty-seven, I shut down the records office. With the overhead lights off, I planted my ass on the counter, legs dangling as I waited for Diem. The edge of petulance and irritation I’d felt that morning returned. If his mood hadn’t improved, it was going to be a rough night.
I could take his erratic temper. I could take his insecurities when it came to touch and affection. I could take his inarticulate way of speaking. What I couldn’t take was him barking orders and making demands without explanation. I was a grown-ass man, and I hated being told what to do.
Diem and his four-legged companion slipped into the room a few minutes later. My boyfriend instantly stopped and scanned with a deep frown. “Why are you sitting in the dark?”
I shrugged, crossing my arms. “Obviously, to make myself more vulnerable to attack and piss you off.”
Yeah, I was not off to a good start, but my filter seemed to have gone on vacation.
Diem said nothing, but the firm line of his lips conveyed his feelings. For a long moment, he remained by the door, not meeting my gaze. He shifted his weight, adjusted Echo’s leash around his wrist, and moved to scrub a hand over his face, but seemed to think better of it before making contact.
The swelling in his nose had gone down, but the nasty bruising around his eyes was worse.
He lowered the arm and remained motionless, emitting waves of discomfort.
I waited, not-so-patiently, for him to decide what was happening. Part of me dared him to demand I get off the counter so we could leave, simply so I could disobey and voice an objection. It had been a long day of stewing, thinking, and worrying. I was in a foul mood.
