Page 45 of A Breath of Life
“We shouldn’t throw it away,” he said as I fumbled uselessly for something to say. He scornfully met my gaze as he continued. “It’s worth too much to toss in the garbage. We’ll find the man from the alley and give it back. Let him deal with it. If it’s stolen, it’s his problem, not ours, right?”
I opened my mouth but closed it again as a fresh surge of panic buzzed over my skin. It was exactly what I had been told to do. Sortof. My instructions weren’t to give it back to Clarence but to report his location to the Consigliere, who had every intent on killing him.
Not my problem, I reminded myself when my conscience whispered in my ear.
Tallus slapped the table, making me jump. “Christ, Diem. Can you not be mute right now. Please. Use words. Say something. It’s what you wanted, isn’t it? I’m trying to be agreeable.”
I faltered, stammered, and said nothing of substance.
“Fuck my life. Did you change your mind? Am I calling Costa?”
“Um…”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I can’t do this right now. You’re giving me a headache. Speak, for fuck’s sake. Contrary to what you might think, I can’t read your mind.”
He was mad. I’d done it again. Fuck.
Tallus wasn’t supposed to know the truth, but what if finding Clarence was his idea? Would acknowledging his plan go against my instructions? Would I be accused of telling him too much if I agreed? Would it put his and Nana’s lives in danger?
My persistent inability to communicate my thoughts earned a huff of indignation. Tallus was ten seconds from telling me to go fuck myself. I’d upset him enough over this goddamn card. Over shady excuses for my injuries. How many more battles until he gave up and walked away for good?
I couldn’t lose him. Not like this. It would destroy me.
“Never mind.” Tallus collected his dishes, tucked the cereal box under an arm, and snagged the container of milk in his free hand before storming to the kitchen. The dishes landed in the sink with a clatter. He slammed the cupboard and fridge doors as he put the other items away.
Then, he marched off in a huff.
I stared at the soggy, sugary cereal congealing in my bowl before shifting my gaze to the pouch and card tied to my wrist. It supposedly tracked me, but was it also embedded with a listening device? I had no idea.
Glancing toward the bedroom to ensure Tallus was out of earshot, I leaned closer to the device and hissed, “Listen, assholes. If you can hear me, then you must have heard the conversation. I’m following your fucking rules to the letter. Got it? I will say nothing of your plan to him, but if it’s not okay to accept his help in locating Clarence, you’d better tell me right fucking now. He’s under the assumption we’re doing nothing more than giving the card back, which was an idea we had before you fuckers kidnapped me. It’s innocent. Can we agree on that?”
I paused, unsure how they might possibly respond to let me know the right course of action—assuming they could hear me at all.
“If you don’t want me to allow this, then call my cell, let it ring twice, and hang up. Otherwise, I’ll assume this falls within your parameters of allowable.”
I waited, ear cocked, listening for a ring. I’d left my phone in the bedroom, volume high, so I wouldn’t miss potential instructions.
A minute passed. Two. Five. Ten.
Nothing.
“Fine. If you can hear me, I take that as permission to proceed.” I shoved from the table and went in search of Tallus.
He lay in bed on his side, stroking a sleeping Echo. The tension across his shoulders radiated an unapproachable vibe. I lingered by the door. Confrontation was not my strong suit with Tallus. He was a powerhouse, and I could never keep up with his verbal comebacks. One of these days, I would stammer for too long and end up on the street. Alone. I couldn’t go back to who I was before. That man nolonger existed. Tallus had changed me on a molecular level. Without his love, I would be cleaved in two, emptier than I’d ever been in my entire life.
“Help me find him,” I said, my voice low. “You wanted to get out from behind the desk, right? Consider it a final exam. We locate… the man”—I almost said Clarence—“return his property, and split the more investigative jobs from here on out. Hell, you can take your pick. Have all the best ones if you want them. I don’t care. I never said you weren’t capable, Tallus. You’re a good PI. I’ve never regretted bringing you into the business. I just…”worry about you, I didn’t say, leaving the sentence unfinished instead.
When several minutes passed and I thought he would do nothing more than pet the dog and ignore me, he shifted. Even in the shadowy depths of the room, his moodiness showed. Tallus was the definition of sass and snark, but he was rarely sullen. I’d hurt him, and I never wanted to hurt him.
Tallus wore simple boxer briefs—always black—and his award-winning come-fuck-me glasses. Nothing more. He was sex personified, and I could never get enough of looking at him. Touching him, taking him to bed, and calling him mine were things I still hadn’t gotten used to. In no universe did our relationship make sense. Yet here we were.
The thought of losing him was a constant ache I couldn’t shed. It had dulled slightly in the past couple of months, but when we argued—which was far too often—it throbbed anew, warning me how fragile happiness could be.
“Who hurt you?” he asked after a time.
“Tallus—”
“No. That’s not fair, Diem. If it was me, you’d lose your shit. I’m allowed to worry about you. It goes both ways.Tell me.”
