Page 159 of A Breath of Life
Tallus was scheduled to return to work at the department the following day after ten days of medical leave. He’d been doing desk work for the PI business but otherwise taking it easy as per doctor’s orders.
At present, he lounged on the couch with Echo, watching some mindless reality show he and Memphis enjoyed. I didn’t understand the draw, but I usually joined him and endured his incessant chatter about the contestants.
That evening, while he absorbed the show, I cleaned up the mess from Tallus’s attempt at making dinner. Cooking had become a reluctant hobby since he had so much time on his hands, and I’d become the unfortunate test subject made to try all the recipes he found online. How the man got sauce on the ceiling, I would never know.
I’d done my best not to smother him since his release from the hospital, despite the ache in my chest and bone-deep worry that crawledover my skin every time he was out of sight. Ace and his cronies were behind bars, awaiting trial after being denied bail, yet I couldn’t relax.
Dr. Peterson and I were working on my insecurities and flaring protective urges, among many, many other issues. The last thing I wanted was to drive Tallus away.
My addictions lingered. Bad habits were hard to kick. More than once, while on the balcony with a cigarette, fighting the inner shake of alcohol withdrawal, I caught myself staring at Ruiz’s phone number in my contact list. Asking for help wasn’t easy despite recognizing I needed it. Someday I would find the courage to place that call and ask for that contact. I didn’t want to be a constant failure. I wanted to quit and make it stick, prove to Tallus, but mostly to myself, that I could do hard things.
Surveying the kitchen, satisfied that it was clean enough, I hung the damp towel and watched Tallus as he watched his show. He lounged in underwear, shirtless and sexy as ever, with his come-fuck-me-glasses and long, lean body on display. The bruise on his chest had faded, and only a faint yellowish-brown mark remained. I kissed it every night before bed, recalling with an ache how close I’d come to losing him. Those brief moments of fear in the church when I’d been certain he was going to die in my arms still haunted my dreams.
After ten days of soul-searching, processing, and chatting with my doctor, I’d done something far outside my comfort zone. It felt both outrageous and right at the same time. All evening, I’d been trying not to talk myself out of it.
Now or never.
“Hey, Tal,” I said, trying to get his attention. “Can we talk?”
He hummed but didn’t take his eyes off the screen.
“Tallus?”
He made a noise to indicate he was listening, but I suspected he wasn’t, so I tested that theory.
“I’m going to clean Baby’s terrarium in about five minutes.” I wasn’t. I’d done it the other day.
“’Kay.” He didn’t move. He didn’t flinch.
“Thought so,” I muttered. “Tal?”
“Shh. I’m watching my show.”
I checked the time and waited. “How long do you have left?” Not that it mattered. He streamed the episodes, so it wasn’t like he couldn’t pause it.
No response.
I waited before trying again. “Two minutes, and I’m cleaning Baby’s terrarium.”
No response.
“Did you hear me?”
“Yeah. Oh my god. Look at this guy. He’s such a freak. He’s totally getting voted off tonight. Wait and see.”
“You should probably find somewhere safe to be.”
“D, did you hear me? This guy’s been lying to everyone, and it came back to bite him in the ass. Look at him. I can’t believe Memphis likes him. He’s such a douche.”
“Did you hear me?”
He burst out laughing at some antic on the program.
I collected the supplies I used to clean Baby’s terrarium and set them by the tank. “Last chance.”
He didn’t respond.
“Three, two, one…” I undid the latches and lifted the lid. “Hello, Baby,” I cooed. “Want to come out and explore?”
