Page 156 of A Breath of Life
Another car passed, driving slowly as they sought parking. It broke the moment. “I’m holding you up. Valor’s waiting.”
“Yeah. I’ll see you around. Tell Tallus to call me.”
“Good luck with the investigation.”
“Thanks. I’ll need it.” He stared for another beat before turning and walking away. Ten feet from the unmarked, he stopped and peered over his shoulder. “I know someone who might be willing to give you a hand.”
I frowned. “A hand?”
“With your… problems.”
“A shrink? I have a shrink,but thanks.”
“Not a therapist. Someone familiar with addictions, you know, if you wanted to quit.”
He didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t ask.
Ruiz shrugged. “If you want his phone number, give me a call sometime.”
I waited until Ruiz and Valor drove off before heading to a different level of the parking garage and my Jeep. Instinct told me to check on Tallus, but I needed a minute to regroup.
Echo happily sat in the passenger seat while I sat in the driver’s seat, staring at the row of cars lining the gloomy, low-lit structure across from me, a flask of cheap whiskey nestled between my thighs and Ruiz’s words tumbling around my brain.Someone familiar with addictions… if you want to quit.
I did, badly, but the fear of no longer having a crutch was enough to make me anxious. How would I handle bad days without booze? Would it make me angrier? I didn’t need to be more of an asshole.
The maelstrom inside my head never ceased. It screamed and roared. It had a voice. Sometimes, it sounded like my father. Other times, it was my own harsh and punishing words. Switching it off was proving more and more difficult, especially with the layers of stress I’d accumulated. Tallus’s injury aside, Ace was still on the loose.
If I knew anything, it was that people like him wouldn’t rest until he had punished those responsible for fucking up his underground operation. Tallus and I had been added to that list. None of Ace’s guys would talk. That was wishful thinking on the department’s part. If they did, it would be a death sentence. Inmates died in prison all the time, and people like Ace had connections everywhere.
The best we could hope for was that intelligence found something in the converted church building that pointed them in the right direction.
If they didn’t…
I massaged the bridge of my broken nose and cursed before cracking the window and lighting another cigarette in lieu of downing the rest of the liquor in the flask. I wasn’t sure which was worse at this point, but I needed to stay somewhat coherent if I was going to protect Tallus.
“Fuck.” I punched the steering wheel.
Echo whined and moved closer, licking my hand and setting a paw on my thigh.
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m upset.”
I nuzzled Echo’s face, burying my nose in her fur. “Tallus isn’t going to take much more smothering, is he? How many times has he told me he’s not a damsel in distress?” I choked on a strangled laugh. “Christ, he calledmethe fucking princess.”
I saw the bruise on his chest every time I closed my eyes and had imagined his death six ways to Sunday. It was an insidious, crippling thought that wouldn’t go away. Awake or asleep, I saw every manner in which I could lose him.
“What am I going to do, Echo?”
My dog responded with comforting kisses as my phone rang. I groaned. I had no interest in talking to anyone, and so far, I’d gotten away with avoiding most people. That wouldn’t last, and I expected the screen to tell me it was the police department looking for the bloody statement I’d promised them.
It wasn’t.
“Hey, Kitty Kat,” I said, my voice quiet.
“Hey, cuddle bear. Guess where I am?”
“No idea.”
“Hang on.” The sound changed like she’d put the call on speaker. “Say hello, Hazel.”
