Page 24 of Bourbon Wishes
Yesterday, I was convinced Bastian hated me. And then he tricked me into dinner just because he was jealous. Somehow, that ended up with me in his bed—after I was sprawled across both the side of his truck and the top of his freaking island, mind you. And somewhere in there, he completely blew my world apart by informing me, oh so casually, that last night was his first time.
Bastian Grayson, also known as Satan in a Suit, gave me his virginity.
Either I died yesterday, and this is some dirty version of heaven…or this is reality, and I'm in way, way over my head with my cranky-as-hell boss.
I'm not entirely sure which I want to be true. I'm wild about him, yes. But he and I are complete opposites. We're not oil and water. We're fire and ice. When we collide, we cause literal violent eruptions, the kind that leave behind scars.
Since his entire family works at the vineyard, the absolute last thing I want is to become a problem that fractures the entire operation right down the middle and scars what they've built. I'm terrified that's exactly what will happen if things go badly between us. I'll have to leave, and half of his family will be pissed at him about it. Or he'll be hurt, and half of his cousins will be pissed at me over it.
Either is a nightmare scenario…but so is losing Bastian now that I've had some little piece of him. He's exactly as infuriating as ever, but he's also incredible. No one has ever looked at me the way he does. No one has ever understood me the way hedoes. And no one has ever set my entire world on fire the way he does.
"I'm so screwed," I whisper.
The best thing I can do—maybe the only thing at this point—is draw a line in the sand. If we're going to do this, it can't be at work. It has to be kept separate.
Somehow, I doubt Bastian will see it that way, though. He'll fight me every step of the way. And dammit all, he'll probably win because I'm weak for him. I've been weak for him for months, and I really don't see that changing anytime soon.
He was right about me. I misbehave and talk back and push his buttons just because I want him to crack. I want him to push back. And some tiny part of me wants to submit, not to just anyone, but to him. Because, God help me, he's the only one I've ever found who feels like they might deserve those parts of me I hold in reserve.
The complicated man is seriously complicating my whole life.
"Iheard a rumor,"Haven says, sailing into my office an hour before lunch. She drops into a chair across from my desk without waiting for an invitation, her big doe eyes locked on my face like she's on the hunt for the Holy Grail and I'm the last keeper of that secret.
"He's not even at the office today, so I have no idea what he's done now," I murmur, trying to play it cool. I'm lying through my teeth, though. Despite Bastian's objections, he's been sending me photos all morning. And he might actually havea sense of humor lodged somewhere in that arrogant, control-freak body of his, because every single one of them looks like Trystan is having the best day of his life, while Bastian would rather be walking through literal fire.
Social media is going to eat those photos up with a spoon, especially when they see Bastian's brooding glower juxtaposed against Trystan's devil-may-care smirk. I'm not at all jealous at the thought of women swooning over him.
I'm also full of shit.
"So you're telling me that you weren't spotted leaving his place first thing this morning in that little black dress we bought atZahara'slast month?" Haven arches a brow at me, tucking strands of mahogany hair behind her ears. "Because Lucy says different."
Well, crap.
"Huh. Pregnancy brain must be playing tricks on her," I lie like the wind. "Maybe she needs glasses."
"Oh my god!" Haven's mouth falls open in shock. "You did spend the night with him!"
I groan, burying my face in my hands. I need to learn to lie better.
"You're sleeping with Bastian!" she practically shouts.
"Keep your voice down," I hiss, sending a frantic glance toward the door. The last thing I need is for every single one of his cousins to find out. They'll never leave me the hell alone if they know.
"Constance Maverick," she says, leaning back in her chair with a smirk. "Are you embarrassed that you got caught doing the walk of shame?"
"What?" I scrunch up my face at her. "No. It wasn't a walk of shame because I'm not in the least ashamed. I'm just having nightmares about the vineyard turning into a warzone." I gulp at the possibility. "Especially since he wouldn't let me quit."
"You tried to quit?" Haven squeaks in outrage. "What the fuck?"
"We slept together," I whisper-hiss. "I can't keep working for him. What if it doesn't work out? It'll be all kinds of awkward for everyone."
"Pfft. In case you haven't noticed, most of the people here are sleeping with other people also employed here. You and Bastian are not that different."
"They're all married, Haven. Of course they're sleeping together."
"My parents weren't married when they started sleeping together," she says…and she may have me there.
"That's different."
