Page 83 of The Best Worst Mistake
“My work. My life.”You, I want to add but don’t.
“Same. My entire coaching business, all my clients, everything I’ve built for myself is back there.”
“You could do that remotely, or build your clients back up in the location you want. The world is ours, Jules. Where would you want to go?”
“The world isours?” she repeats, turning to look at me, but I just continue walking as if suggesting we leave everything behind to move somewhere else is the most natural thing in the world. Because I wish that it was.
“Well, neither of us would want to be lonely in a new place so I figured we’d go together.” I break my facade and give her a slight smile.
“Good point. Alright. In this hypothetical world, we’d go to Amalfi first. Then maybe try a year in Spain next, to see if we like it any better.”
“And don’t forget Interlaken,” I tell her.
“Or Geneva,” she adds, wistfully.
“I could add a few homes to my investment portfolio here,” I admit, quietly, allowing a more serious tone to fill my voice, hoping she doesn’t find the offer of me buying homes in her dream vacation spots upsetting. Every time money comes up, she looks like she might throw something at me.
I eye those two abnormally large lemons she’s still cradling, just in case.
“God, I can’t imagine having that kind of money to throw around all willy-nilly. See a town you like? Oh, just buy a home there! It seems surreal to live like that. I don’t know how you get used to something like that.”
“It’s easier when the money doesn’t matter as much as what I’d trade it for,” I tell her.
“Trade it for?” she sounds confused. “Whatcan’tyou buy?”
“I used to bargain with God sometimes. Give me my parents back, and I’d give it all away. Especially if it meant I’d get togrow up with a mother and father who loved the shit out of me. Sometimes I walk by parks where all the moms are playing with their kids — you know, pushing them on the swing, or giving them a hug when they fall — just to live in that dream world for a minute. People may be envious of me, but I’m envious of anyone who grew up like that.”
She’s quiet before grabbing onto my hand and squeezing it. For a moment, I think she’s going to hang on, but then she drops it, dropping my heart out onto the sidewalk along with it.
“I had to force myself to put one foot in front of the other for months after losing Grant, but you were hit with the responsibility of a billion-dollar company and thousands of employees the same day you received the news about your dad.”
“One hundred and sixty-seven thousand employees, to be exact,” I tell her, feeling the weight of every single one of those families who depend on a paycheck from Davenport Media to house and feed their families, not to mention themselves.
Her face falls serious, and she grabs onto my hand again, but this time, she doesn’t let go.
“That kind of thing can break a person. I hate how experience can wise you up, but sometimes it’s so hard to put yourself in someone else’s shoes without it.”
We walk, both of us deep in thought.
“And I think as long as you’re there, I’ll stick around Boston,” I tell her. “I’d like to be near you, too. I always thought of you as one of my best friends. I hope we can still be friends when we get back. If not, and if my company allows it, then maybe I’ll end up leaving the area one day.”
She stops on the sidewalk and turns to look up at me, concern in her eyes.
“Silas, I don’t think that I could lose you twice.”
“You wouldn’t lose me, I’d—”
But before I know what’s happening, she drops the lemons on the cobblestone, grabs my face between her palms. And then, against everything I saw coming on this trip, she kisses me.
Chapter 39
It’s the kind of kiss I’ve always dreamed about. The type you watch in movies and hope to experience one day for yourself, but after a while start believing that it’s all made up for Hollywood magic.
But, this kiss is not made up for Hollywood magic.
And neither are her lips, her hands, and her body pressing firmly into mine.
Her lips feel desperate at first as her nails run through my hair, down the back of my neck, like she can’t get as close to me as she wants or needs.
