Page 75 of Rogue Cowboy
She was a Telford.A pillar in the community.Telfords did good.They didn’t get drunk and drugged at parties.They didn’t have inappropriate pictures of themselves on men’s phones.They didn’t break dates with nice men because they were ambitious and stupid and ended up throwing all their hard work away.And worse, they didn’t run away from their problems.Hide from their families.
That was the worst part.She’d worked so hard, severed herself from her family, insisted she was the one person who was going to get out of Marietta and make it big in LA only to discover she didn’t have the stomach for any of it.
She’d missed her family.She’d missed the ranch.She’d missed the horses.And she’d lost her music.She wasn’t pop star material.And she didn’t cut it as a rocker though she’d tried and tried until she felt like she’d died inside.
And now she couldn’t even keep Cole.
Because Mr.I’m in it for the Long Haul had taken off with NO explanation or text or…
“What’s up?”
Riley didn’t realize that she’d stood up in the middle of one of Boone’s hilarious stories about losing his pants at a rodeo in Bozeman.She held her still-full plate of food and stared at Boone like she didn’t know him.
“I’m tired,” she said, suddenly feeling it.“I’m going to head home.”
“I’ll go with you.”Her mother stood and slipped her arm through Riley’s.“I parked up by the house so I could leave early if needed.”Twenty pair of eyes watched her, all of them realizing something unusual was happening, but everyone was too polite to mention anything.Riley felt like after nearly six years, her mask was crumpling, and part of her was relieved and the other, worried there’d be nothing left she recognized.
“Taryn, you’ll join us.”Her mother wasn’t asking.
“I got the keys.Night, all.”
And just like that Riley knew her secrets were over as she climbed into the back seat of one of the ranch trucks.
*
Normally Riley wasa shower at night girl because her job was so physical.But after a night where she felt like she’d been tossed off of a horse and stomped on, she needed another shower the next morning.Her parents had let her sleep in, although Riley doubted they’d gotten much sleep.
She’d told them everything.How she’d been so lost in LA.How she’d hated the music industry and how it had messed with her music.She confessed to the drinking—so much more than they’d imagined before she’d pulled away from that cold turkey.The attack.Cole’s rescue.The secret marriage.The lost baby.The nightmares.The pretending.So much pretending.
After her parents had held her like they had when she was a little girl, and she’d been utterly spent, but almost euphorically relaxed, she’d stumbled into her room and slept and slept until she’d finally blinked awake like a computer coming online and had comically stared at the clock, willing it to not be nine.She’d never slept that long in her life.
She’d stumbled to the shower, feeling guilty as the water cascaded down her body, but she had to wash her hair after three nights camping in the trailer.More awake now she pulled on some jeans and a Henley and wrapped a flannel shirt around her waist in case the morning was chill and staggered out desperate for coffee.
She blinked.Cole was in the kitchen.Her mom was hugging him and sobbing.And her dad sat on a barstool staring out the window, a full cup of coffee not even steaming in front of him.
Cole noticed her first.He looked shattered but smiled hollowly and walked over to her.Her parents looked aged, and she hated that she’d done that to them.Cole, a sequoia for her mom, looked stoic, numb.
“The accident?”she asked, heart in her throat, not wanting him to sustain another loss.But he was back.Was that good or bad news?
“Good morning, baby,” Cole said.
She stared at Cole trying to read him.
“Is it?”she asked, voice small.She’d done this.Hurt her parents.Hurt Cole.
“It is,” he said.“Definitely.It is.”
“Sorry, sorry.”Her mom smoothed her hand down Cole’s striped dark blue and lighter blue shirt.“Sorry, I’ve gotten you all wet, but I…” She looked up at him, her eyes still swimming with tears.“I wanted to thank you for taking care of our baby.”
“Didn’t feel like enough,” Cole stoically said.
“It was more than enough,” Riley objected, as what he’d done had felt like too much when she’d had enough headspace to judge her own actions driven by fear and shock.“I’m the one who was a shallow idiot compromising my values and chasing fame.And then I was a liar, and I used Cole.”
Riley sipped her coffee, hoping the heat and bitterness gave her courage.
“None of it was Cole’s fault,” she stated.“He stepped in.He took care of me.He wanted to meet you both.Tell you want happened and that he’d be a father if there was a baby before he headed off to his deployment.But I was the coward.I lied and told him I wanted to tell you alone.I promised I’d see a counselor, but I didn’t.And I never told you.I sent Cole away into danger without even a thank you or a kiss.”
But she had prayed every night for God to keep him safe though she’d feared God wouldn’t answer the prayers of a liar or a coward.And yet would he punish a good man because a weak and flawed woman loved him?
