Page 12 of Rogue Cowboy
He went to her fridge, opened the freezer and pulled out a long, chilled gel pack.He poked around in her cupboards, found the first-aid kit and other supplies and wrapped the gel in a strip of flannel.
“Besides, it’s true.”
Her snort sounded like Cinnamon’s—not surprising as she hung out with horses far more than she did people, except family.
And now she had a spotlight on her.This was all Cole’s fault for showing up out of the blue and looking so…so…dang…everything.He was so masculinely beautiful it hurt to look at him.And she was now a bruised and hurting mess—hurting and not looking her best.Again.
“You’ve worried my family by unexpectedly arriving.And got me punched.”
He gently placed the gel against her cheek.
She couldn’t help sighing in relief.She had to fight the urge to reach for him to hold on to his wrist, when she should be pushing him away for both of their sakes.
“Sorry,” she said, shamed.“It wasn’t your fault.I stepped into Rohan’s fist, which shouldn’t have been swinging at afriendin the first place.What happened between you two?”she demanded because it was easier than talking about the…had he really said ‘courting’?
Cole didn’t answer.Just held the gel against her cheek and glanced at his big watch that was disturbingly sexy.She couldn’t think of him like that.She wasn’t ready to face him or her past and definitely not a future.
Coward.
She hated the word but had to own it now, even though everyone thought of her as fearless when she’d been growing up, chasing dreams.And now all she did was hide.And pretend.And Cole was going to realize he’d tied himself to a coward, a liar.
So she had to cut him loose.Fast.
“It’s not true, Cole.”She made herself meet his shuttered gaze.She placed her hand over his to push the gel free.She had to stand up to him now to save them both.“You can’t court someone you’re already married to.”
Not what she meant to say.
“Don’t think marriage is the end of courting.”
She stared at him.What was he doing, auditioning for romance hero of the year?
“Be real.We’re not even really married.”She forced herself to say the M word she hadn’t let herself think about much after he’d suggested it as a way to protect her.Not when she’d whispered the empty vows in a Vegas court office.And definitely she’d avoided it during every text the minute he’d dropped her off at her family ranch and headed out to parts unknown to do things that were more important to him than she would ever be.
“It’s legal,” Cole said not even pretending to be bothered.“But I’d say courting is more important to building a marriage, than getting to the altar.”
“There was no altar,” she insisted, almost expecting God to strike her down as a bubble of panic burbled in her belly.
“We can go the altar route.Do it right before your friends and family.”His offer sent more panic roaring through her.“There’s the fear again, Riley.”With a fingertip he stroked along her neck, smoothing over her pulse.“Tell me.”
Tell him what?
He’d said that before—many times when she dozed off and broke the quiet of the drive, screaming and disoriented from a nightmare.
“Tell me,” he’d urge, as he put more and more miles behind them.“Get it out.”
As if it were that easy.As if he could absorb it.Absolve her.
“What are you afraid of?”he asked now, his head cocked, clearly expecting an answer.
Everything would be too humiliating to admit.
“You,” she whispered.He terrified her to death because he made her want things she could never have.
If she hoped that would push him away—he had always been unfailingly gentle and chaste with her—epic fail.Cole didn’t miss a beat.
“Explain.”
“Cole, I can’t… I can’t do this…whatever this is…with you.”
