Page 71 of Searching for Sadie
How was it Saturday already? She'd spend three full days hiding away. It was time. "Okay, I'll come over. Tell Liam I'll be down in a minute."
She went into her room and threw on some clothes she hadn't been wallowing in. When she looked in the mirror her eyes were puffy with massive bags, but nothing could be done about that right now. She managed to get her hair out of the bun only to find a greasy matted mess. Yeah, this would require a shower and starting fresh. So, she just put it back up before putting on some deodorant and a couple squirts of body spray. With a shrug in the mirror, she turned and made it down the stairs.
Lucas was gone but the front door was open revealing Liam James looking like the rock star he was on her porch through the screen door. The comparison between them was stark, but it was time to take a page out of the book of Dolly Parton and get back in the mutha fucking saddle.
She looked at herself in the mirror by the door before taking a deep breath and mentally telling herself to buck up.
"Liam, hi," she said, opening the door.
He turned to her and slid his sunglasses on his head. "Hey Sadie. How are you holding up?"
"Not great," she said with a laugh. "But I'm trying."
He gave her a knowing nod. "Sometimes that's all you can do."
"Do you want to come in?" she asked, holding the door open.
Liam walked over and stepped inside. His eyebrows raised as he took in the flower garden of it all.
"The house used to be my great aunts. I haven't found it in me to remodel it yet," she said.
"Can we talk?" he asked.
"Yeah, do you want anything to drink?" she said, making her way into the kitchen trying to ignore the piles of dishes all over. "I have water, tea, and some Coke."
"Water sounds good."
She got two glasses of water and brought them to the table. "Is this okay?" she asked, offering him a seat.
"Perfect."
She sat down at the table across from him unsure of what to say.
"I'm sorry to just show up like this. But Lexi and other people are worried about you, but they didn't know how to best support you. And I'm not saying I do... but I understand what it feels like to have all your shit put out there for public consumption."
She finally looked into his eyes and found such a depth of kindness there it almost took her breath away.
"I know what we went through isn't the same thing, but I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but a couple years ago I was involved in a huge scandal when the world at large found out I had a boyfriend. It turned my whole world upside down. I was twenty-one and in my first real relationship with my touring bassist. I loved him, but the media turned that love into a circus. I've never been ashamed of being bi, or even been secret aboutit, but somehow it was like I felt shame about something that wasn't shameful in the slightest."
He took a drink of water as she took in what he was saying.
"I know it's not the same thing you're going through at all. I just know what it can feel like to lose the narrative of your own life and feel vulnerable. It can sometimes feel like you’re just a feast for the internet trolls, but you’re a person."
Hearing it so bluntly put, pulled a huff out of her while tears pooled in her eyes. He reached across the table and gave her hand a little squeeze.
"Yeah, I've stayed off social media. I can't even imagine what people are saying."
"Good for you," he said with a nod of his head.
"I just wanted to make sure you know you're not alone, and that while it may seem like no one understands, there are people who understand, and I'm here if you need to talk."
"Thank you," she said as she traced the condensation on her glass.
"One good thing about being a creative is you can turn that pain into art. Not that it makes it okay. I'm not saying that at all, I guess I'm just saying being a songwriter you have a way to process your pain others don't. Don't forget that."
"Thank you. Really. That means a lot, and I think I've just been so busy trying not to drown. I forgot I know how to swim."
She swiped at the tear that was tracking down her cheek. He gave her hand another squeeze before letting go to reach into his pocket and pulled out his phone.
