Page 85 of Searching for Sadie
Everything that had forced her to leave Tennessee had been awful. While she would never want to go through it again, it had gotten her here. She never would have ended up in Mystic Falls ifit hadn’t been for the show. Even though her aunt had given her this house, she probably would have just sold it, but it had given her a chance to escape, and it had given her a fresh start.
All in all, this night could have been a lot worse. That was until the end of the episode. After their breakup scene, the rest of the episode had played out without them. She'd watched as one couple out of all four stayed together and got married. Two others said no at the altar.
But as the show was ending, they showed their last confessional. They showed her first, she wished him the best and was sorry they couldn't make it work. Then it was time for his confessional. He was angry and bitter. He said "Yeah, I do believe in love at first sight, but people have to be honest about who they are. When we were getting to know each other, she talked about her work ethic. I thought I was falling in love with someone who took care of themself. I thought I was falling in love with someone who loved themselves. I was wrong."
Sadie's heart almost stopped beating while her breath caught in her throat.
"It is clear she doesn't love herself. How could you love yourself and let yourself look like that."
Another tear streamed down her face. The urge to pull away from Lucas, to not let him see her like this was strong, but she couldn't move.
"She wasn't honest, and the show wasn't either," he sneered. "I should have never been put in this situation. The show set us both up for failure. I was robbed of my shot at love because she wasn’t honest about who she was."
Her mouth dropped open. 'Not honest about who she was'?! Those words were spinning around in her head making her feel disoriented. She'd been honest. She thought she'd found love, but he couldn't love her. The way she looked caused that venom in someone she'd had deep feelings for.
A low rumble came from behind her. "I have never wanted to kick someone's ass more than that pathetic excuse for a man," Lucas said, low and menacing. But he held her with such tenderness it didn't seem to match the anger apparent in his voice.
The show went on and showed the rest of the couple’s final interviews, but the world was closing in on Sadie. After a shaky breath the tears started to come as she collapsed into herself, hiding her tear-stained face in her hands.
"Fuck, Sadie. That's all bullshit," he said as he wrapped his arms around her and held her head to his chest.
She should go. She didn't want him to see her like this, but she couldn't seem to move. She couldn’t bring herself to leave his embrace.
"Are you okay?" he asked before kissing the top of her head.
All she could do was nod as the tears continued to stream down her face. She was sad because she had hoped things would go differently, but she found that sadness was shifting into anger. She was angry that she'd let him make her feel this way. She'd face comments and schoolyard taunts about her body her entire life. None of them had ever affected her like this. She'd always been able to see her own worth, but as deep as she was digging that was hard to find, and that pissed her off. But even with those warring emotions the one winning was shame, and it was pulling her under.
She had no idea how much time had passed, but when she was finally able to pull herself together the TV was off, and Lucas had the blanket wrapped around them as he held her and silently handed her tissues. She took a deep breath and sat up and blew her nose before looking at him.
The look on his face almost took her breath away. The genuine concern and care she found there did make her feel better, even if only a little. She could get through this.
"I'm sorry," she said as she reached up and cupped his face, feeling the scratch of his beard against her hands.
"What are you sorry for?"
"I'm a mess."
"No," he said as he wiped the tears from her face. "You are not a mess. You’re dealing with some heavy emotions. Doing the best you can."
Without overthinking it, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. He kissed her back, but let her take the lead, meeting her intensity, but not pushing her. But that was what she wanted. She wanted to feel loved and desired. She opened and bit his lip, only it didn't have the response she was hoping for. Instead of meeting her, he pulled away.
"Sadie, baby, what do you need?" he asked.
"You, please. I just need you."
That seemed to work, his mouth came crashing down on her. This was the kind of kiss you could get lost in and that was exactly what she was intending to do. His arms wrapped around her and held her close as he sipped at her mouth in a kiss that seemed to last forever.
When she finally broke the kiss, she was feeling a little better. The tears had stopped and the main emotion driving her had changed to lust, a much better emotion to get lost in.
"Do you want to go upstairs?" she asked.
He nodded and loosened his hold on her but not before pressing another kiss to her lips. They stood and he picked up the bowls.
CHAPTER 32
SADIE
As they climbed the stairs some of the doubts started to creep back in. She found herself thinking that she wished he was the one in front because he was probably staring at her big round ass, even though he'd done nothing but love her big round ass.
