Page 60 of Searching for Sadie
"I just came home from Lexi and Liam's house. We got together to watch the first episodes of the reality show I was in before I moved."
He nodded. He'd actually forgotten those dropped tonight. "Not good?"
"No. Not good," she said as she wiped away another tear. His arm slid around her shoulder as he comforted her. "And the worst part is it's only going to get worse from here on out. It's just so embarrassing."
"I haven't seen the show, but there isn't a doubt in my mind that you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm sure it was all that fucker," he said as she rested her head on his shoulder. Even though the laughter she gave was weak, it felt like vindication.
"I know. It's all on him. I'm just so worried about how the next ones are going to go. I know the reason things didn't work out between us. It sucked living through it once, and now I have to live through it again, but this time everyone will know."
"What happened?"
"He wasn't attracted to me," she said so softly he could barely hear.
"Then he's crazy, Sadie. You're a total smoke show."
A corner of her mouth turned up ever so slightly and she patted his chest. He caught her hand and pressed into his chest, making her leave it there. He needed more physical contact with her at the moment.
"I've been bigger my entire life. I was raised to not let it bother me, and for the most part I don't. But I also know that society judges me for my body and has all kinds of preconceived notions about who I am and how I live my life. I know that."
Lucas found himself wanting to argue with her and tell her she was beautiful. Because she was beautiful, but he knew what she was saying. He could find her beautiful, and she could even find herself beautiful, but that did nothing to the outside world who put value on people's appearance.
He as well had always been a husky kid. And while he knew what he went through paled in comparison to what the world did to plus size women, he could understand better than some exactly what kind of bullshit she was dealing with.
While it seemed like her tears had dried up, thank god, because the sight of her crying almost broke his fucking heart, he was still in no hurry to leave this couch. And it would seem, she wasn't either. They sat there with her head on his chest and his arms wrapped tight around her until he got an uncomfortable crick in his shoulder. He could feel his fingers getting a little tingly, but it was a price he was willing to pay.
"I should probably go. It's getting late."
No. He did not want that.
"Or you could stay."
Her head lifted off his chest and she shot him a raised eyebrow.
"Not like that, Songbird. I'm just not ready to stop holding you yet."
"I'd have to go get something to sleep in."
"That's up to you," he said as he brushed a lock of hair off her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. "Or you could use one of my t-shirts."
A smile finally covered her beautiful face, and he wanted to fist pump into the air with the sweet feeling of victory.
"I could," she said in a way she didn't quite know how to interpret. "I don't think I've ever been able to do that before."
"What?"
"Sleep in the shirt of someone I've been dating. Before if I managed to squeeze into their shirts, they would not have been pajamas."
All the sudden she shot up and looked at him with an almost panicked look in his eyes. "Not that we're dating or anything... and I didn't mean anything about the shirt, just that..." she hid her face in her hands.
"Hey," he said in a low steady voice. "First off, we are totally dating. Second off, I know I'm a big guy. And yeah, Songbird, I can see all your beautiful curves, even the ones society doesn't love. I love them all. And you can totally wear my shirt to sleep in if you want."
Her hands fell away from her face and let a barely there vulnerable smile. Then to his pleasant surprise, she reached up and kissed him. When she pulled away, she seemed back to normal. Which was good, his heart couldn't handle his girl upset.
She stood up from the couch and offered him a hand. While he didn't need it, he would never turn away contact with his sexy little next-door neighbor. He followed behind her up the stairs and was on his very best behavior, not touching her perfect round ass once. Even though he knew she was having a rough night, that didn't stop him from being attracted to her, only from acting on it until she wanted it just as much as he did.
When he got into his room he pulled out his softest roomiest t-shirt he had. It was his old Mystic Falls Hockey t-shirt. Hehanded it to her before turning around and heading into the bathroom.
When he came back into the room, he was just in time to see her crawling into his bed in his t-shirt and some light purple boyshort underwear with her lush round cheeks peeking out. He couldn't comprehend in what world this woman would ever be deemed unattractive because, damn, he was fighting a boner just looking at her in his bed.
