Page 55 of Two Guys One Puck
“They won’t miss me until morning.”
“Your roommate won’t care if you don’t come back tonight?” He sounds surprised.
“I’ll tell them I went home with someone. I don’t have to say who.”
Seaborn nods, falling quiet. After a while, he speaks again. “What the fuck does this mean?”
“We’re getting each other off?”
“I mean with being gay and all that?”
I realize he’s being vulnerable. He’s full of surprises tonight.
NINETEEN
SEABORN
Am I?
I’m not sure I know up from down. I thought I knew everything about who I was and laying here with this dick, I don’t have any post orgasm clarity. I want him to stay.
“I think it means we like to get each other off. Does it need to be more?” Does he really not feel anything? I know he’s cool with it and doesn’t do regrets but this is clearly not a convenience thing at camp. We keep doing this.
“I think it does.”
“Are you having an identity crisis over there?” Ktytor trails his fingers up my arm.
“Maybe.” I glare at him when I see the little smirk he’s wearing. “How can you always fucking tell?”
He circles a finger at my face. “You wear it. You wouldn’t last two weeks in Ukraine. They’d eat you alive.”
I hate it, but I won’t admit it. I don’t like that he can keep his feelings to himself, but I can’t. I want equal footing, especially with him. I’ve worked my ass off to get there on the ice.
“Don’t take it so hard.” Ktytor rolls to his side, and I swear he only has two modes: snarky and sexual. Maybe that’s why this is easier for him.
“I’m not taking it hard. I’m trying to figure out why this keeps happening.”
“Because I’m hot and give great head? I don’t know.”
“There are lots of hot people actively trying to sleep with me,” I throw back, sure that can’t be it.
“Is because you have to work for it, isn’t it? Women are too easy.”
I shoot him a flat look. “I prefer easy.”
“Do you?” He doesn’t sound convinced.
“Maybe not, but I’m sure I didn’t need to switch sexes and fuck a dude I hate.” I pull a pillow over my face, not even sure why I’m having this conversation with him of all people. I need to talk to a friend, but I can’t because they are all teammates, so I guess I need a therapist.
“You’re allowed to have experiments in college. It doesn’t have to be so… What do you call it? Maybe something under the ocean?”
I take the pillow off my face looking at him for a moment. “Deep?”
He pats my cheek. “Yes. Maybe be less deep, and you’ll enjoy life more.”
“I don’t know how you can be so nonplussed about all of this.”
“What is this?”
