Page 106 of Two Guys One Puck
“I don’t want to be stressed—I am stressed.” I blow out a breath. “You won’t go back home?”
“No. I will send money, and if my brother wants to come here, I will help him.”
“What about your mother?”
“I don’t know if she’ll ever leave. I can hope but I would never ask her to.” Ktytor puts his arm over his head.
I lose my train of thought for a minute. “What? I thought the point of you having enough money was to help her escape?”
“To help her, yes. To escape, no.” He doesn’t seem upset about it either.
I can’t imagine being so far away from my family. Being as far as I am is already hard. “Why would she want to stay? Isn’t she close to bombings and all that shit?”
“Is her home. She loves it. I love it. No one wants to be driven from their home.” He shakes his head. “We aren’t a people whowill just abandon our country because is easier. Even the women and children who have left want to go back. We will keep fighting for our home.”
“I guess I don’t fully understand.” I pause, trying to figure out how to word what I want to say. “But you left.”
“Because I can make money and make their lives better. I love hockey, but it wasn’t my first choice. I’d never ask her to leave. I’d never ask my grandparents to leave. I’d never ask my brothers to leave. This is the only home they have ever known. I left so they could remain.” He shrugs like it’s not a big deal.
“Will you ever go back?” Maybe my question is selfish.
“I don’t know what my future holds.”
“Sorry for making this conversation take such a fucked up turn.” I feel bad for dredging it all up.
“Is okay. You can’t know what is like if you don’t live it. I like that you want to know me.” His words make my chest warm.
“I like knowing you.”
“I would hope so.” He rubs his tongue inside his cheek. “I almost forgot, I told Happy and Sleepy I think I’m gay.”
“What?” I sit up. “What did they say?”
“They said they thought I was asexual.” He doesn’t seem bothered by that either. “I guess I understand why they would say this. Maybe it makes more sense than gay.”
I’m reeling, trying to process his words. “Wait, are you asexual? Because we fuck like a lot. Not that it’s a bad thing, but isn’t that like where you don’t enjoy sex?” Now I’m doubting I fully understand what we’re talking about.
“No, is not always about sex. Lots of asexual people have sex. But I don’t think I’m… What would you say? Maybe…fully. I looked it up after they said it. I think is demisexual.” He waves me off. “Not a big deal. I like your cock. Yes?”
“Not a big deal at all…but thank you for telling me.” I think about the word before deciding to ask. “I’ve heard demisexualbefore but I cannot, for the life of me, recall what it means. That’s on the ace spectrum, right?”
“I guess basically means I am not really sexually attracted to someone unless we have an emotional connection.”
“So you’re attracted to me because you hate me?” I try not to laugh but fail.
“Hate is a strong emotion.” He winks.
I roll my eyes. “You better not still hate me.”
“It’s not all hate now, so don’t feel pity for yourself.”
“But there is some?” I ask, trying not to let my annoyance show.
“Are you feeling a little insecure, Seaborn?”
“No!” I huff.
“Are you sure? I can stroke your ego while you stroke your cock and make you feel better.”
