Page 43 of Two Guys One Puck
I pull back the shower curtain. “How the fuck are you so damn chill about all of this?”
“About what?” He turns off the sink and flips around to lean against the counter.
I get into the shower, enraged. I have to explain it. I almost don’t, but I need a goddamn answer. “You’re into men just like that? You don’t have to fucking think about it?” I finally let out, and it’s like releasing the dam. “I’m glad it’s so easy for you to go with it, but I’ve been straight my whole fucking life, and this is messing me up.”
I snap my mouth shut. I shouldn’t give any of my vulnerability to him. He doesn’t deserve it.
I step into the water, hanging my head to let it run down over my back.
Ktytor doesn’t reply, and I figure he went back to bed. I run my hands through my hair, wishing I hadn’t accepted his invitation to stay. But I know I needed to. What shot do I have getting drafted if I can’t show them I’m one of them? I’m not Ktytor. He’ll get drafted no matter what, but I need these camps.
It would be so much easier to hate him. Why the fuck did I let my dick get involved? But I hadn’t, really. I still don’t know how this started, no matter how many times I’ve gone over it in my head.
The shower curtain rips open, and I spin around to find Ktytor standing there with a sneer on his face.
“What the fuck?” I ask when he doesn’t say anything.
“You’re not the only one who has it hard.”
I scoff. “Sorry it’s so hard to be arguably the best player in college hockey with tons of prospects and the inability to feel regret or be unsure about fucking anything.”
His eyes flash with rage. “You have no fucking clue what my life is like.”
“No, I don’t. And you know nothing about mine.” I try to pull the shower curtain closed, but he throws up a hand, blocking it.
“I’m not done with you.”
I turn around facing the shower head. If he wants to get water everywhere, he can deal with it. “I have nothing else to say to you.”
He grabs my shoulder, turning me halfway as he steps into the shower while shoving me up against the wall. “You don’t get to speak and not listen to a reply.”
“There’s no point to this conversation.” I grab his arm but don’t rip it off. I’m not sure why I hesitate.
“Because your ego can’t take it?”
“Why are you even pushing this? I already sucked your dick. Just let me shower in peace.”
He stares into my eyes for a long moment, both of us breathing hard.
“Do you really want to spend the rest of your fucking life in your head?” he finally says.
“Not all of us can repress our feelings,” I say through my teeth, desperate to fight or shut him up or get him to leave me alone. Anything but to have this conversation with him.
“All of us have shit going on. I’m not trying to compete, but if you’re kissing me, your mind should be here with me.” His fingers flex, digging into my shoulder.
I suck in a breath through my teeth. “I’m fucking sorry. Are you happy?”
“At least you didn’t make an excuse this time.” He cracks a smile and drops his hand, and I’m sad it’s gone.
“Can we go back to kissing now?” I ask.
“If you want to get off, fucking take it.”
FIFTEEN
KTYTOR
Ishouldn’t want to mess with him so badly, but I do. Seaborn doesn’t move, and I’m not sure if I should leave to break him out of this freeze or just give him time. It only takes another moment before he grabs me and flips us around, shoving me against the wall. His wet skin presses into mine, and goddamn, we are really doing this.
