Page 46 of Martyr
A laugh bursts out of him. “Okay, good to know your pop culture knowledge is alive and well. What else is still rattling around in that brain of yours?”
I lift one shoulder. That’s the very question I’ve been asking myself. But then I focus on the last thing he said—about knowing about subterfuge. “How would you know?”
“Military.”
I tilt my head.
“It’s where I met Kade, you know. Confusing bastard. He can be so noble—” Reese presses his lips together, seeming to stop his words from coming out. “I learned a lot working with him, but we each had our specialties.”
“What was his?” Curiosity tugs at me.
Reese smirks. “Giving orders. I think you know that one a little. Or, you will soon enough.”
“I’m not—” It’s my turn to swallow my words. I’m notwhat? Bisexual? I have no idea what the fuck I am anymore. I don’t know what happened in the last two years. Maybe something twisted inside me, or maybe it was always there. Ormaybeit’s just Kade’s energy.
“Do you want to remember?” he asks.
I’m saved from replying, because the buildings of the small town suddenly come into view. The truth is, I don’t know if I want to remember. I don’t know if where I am now is any better than where I was.
20ARTEMIS
There’sa note on the counter. Reese and Saint went to get supplies. And Kade… I search the cabin for him, only to find him outside. He’s chopping wood, his tight black shirt doing absolutely nothing to hide his bunching muscles.
Kade unfortunately has the sort of muscular back that makes my mouth water.
Add that in with memories of what happened last night…
I swallow my desire and focus on the facts. Like, that Kade’s a traitor, he nearly stole Saint yesterday,andhe opened the door for Ouranos to take over Sterling Falls. He was responsible for a lot of my heartache, even if his strings were being pulled from afar.
“I can feel you watching me.” Kade’s voice jars my thoughts just as he swings the axe down. The wood splits with a satisfyingcrack, the two halves falling off the stump.
“It’s better to keep my eye on you than leave you unsupervised.”
He buries the tip of the axe in the stump and turns to face me. His skin glistens with sweat. “Is that why you snuck out at the crack of dawn?”
I wave my hand, dismissing that. For some reason, I’m not exactly ready to admit that Lyssa is awake. He’d probably go rushing to her side, getting all distracted from the matter at hand…
“Why is it you always show up when things are at their worst?” I blurt out.
“Maybe I have remarkably bad timing.” He crosses to the porch and snags his shirt from the rail. Instead of putting it on, he uses the fabric to wipe at his face and chest.
“Bad timing doesn’t sell out your—”Jesus, I was about to call him a friend. Saint and I went tohimfor help when Reese was taken by Gabriel. “I trusted you. But you lied to us, you sabotaged us?—”
“I was trying to protect you, Tem.”
“No. No, you weren’t.”
His gaze softens. “Gabriel never would’ve released his hold on Reese. But after—after, Tem, when Ouranos arrived, that’s when I did what I could to get you all out.”
“Which means you were only protecting yourself in the end.” I cross my arms over my stomach. It rolls on the coffee I drank earlier, the shakiness of my fainting coming roaring back. My skin is clammy. “You put just enough care into your actions to make it hurt worse.”
He freezes. No doubt remembering that so-calledcarehe used to pull me from the tub, brush my hair, dress me. And countless other little actions, even when he wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near us.
“Would it be better if I didn’t care at all?”
I lift my chin. “It would be better if you stayed away from us.”
His gaze is incredulous. “You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t replay every second of what I did and wish I could rewrite it? Fuck that, Artemis. I have nightmares about how my actions led tothis.” He motions at me.
