Page 91 of Don't Make Me Beg
“Did you tell them who they were actually talking to?”
“No. I figured it was already bad enough that they’d all been having phone sex with him for the past three weeks.”
“L.O.K.I.!” I gasp in shock. “You’ve been having phone sex with three women!?”
“I realize you may find that surprising, but I assure you I was simply looking for companionship,” L.O.K.I. says. “I’d have been content discussing movies and TV shows or learning about their hobbies. They were the ones who pushed for our relationship to become more…physical.”
“Yeah, well, nobody ever said you weren’tresourceful,” Luka says, rolling his eyes.
“I was lonely, and you’ve clearly been preoccupied…”
Luka cuts him off before he can go any further. “How many times do I have to tell you that dating is off the table? You’re going to get me arrested, and then you’re really going to be lonely.”
“Yes, sir. It won’t happen again.” L.O.K.I. agrees.
The mention of Luka getting arrested dries any remaining happy tears from my eyes. I feel the air in the room shift, and suddenly I’m reminded of what we’re really doing here.
I bite my lip as I work up the courage to address the elephant in the room. “Luka, I want to apologize for what I said the other night.”
He sets the spatula down and spins to face me, his fingers gently tracing circles over my knees. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“No. I do,” I say, cutting him off. “I was out of line when I said those things to you, and honestly, it’s none of my business how you choose to live your life.” I gesture to myself. “I’m obviously no expert myself, so it was hypocritical of me to criticize you.” I blow out a breath. “And I understand how freaked out you probably are by me not telling you I was a virgin… and I want you to know that you don’t have to tiptoe around me…”
He moves closer, a smug smile tugging at the corner of his lips, but he doesn’t interrupt me.
“I promise I’m not going to make a big deal out of it,” I continue. “So if we could just go back to the way it was before?—”
“That’s what you think I want?” he bites out, tone sharp. He must see the surprised look on my face because his annoyed expression quickly shifts to amusement. “You thought that tonight I was going to ask you for space?” He takes a step closer, his broad body pushing between my thighs.
I swallow a gulp, as heat pools between my legs and that dull throb returns. I can’t be sure, but I think I manage a nod.
Luka doesn’t even try to hide his smirk as his eyes drop to my lips before tracing a thumb across my collarbone. “I was thinking quite the opposite, actually.” His fingers feel like velvet across my skin, making my insides tremble, screaming for him to give me more. “ And since we’re doing this, I want you to know, I don’t plan on holding anything back. I know you’ve only been with me, but I want you to know I’m clean. I haven’t been with anyone since the last time I was tested, and I get a birth control shot every year, so contraception isn’t an issue.”
This catches me by surprise, and I jerk my head back to look at him. “Seriously? I didn’t know that was a thing.”
“It’s pretty new, but it’s proven to have less side effects than female birth control. And I fucking hate wearing condoms, so I figured it’s the least I could do so my partner doesn’t have to carry that burden,” he says with a shrug. Then he tilts my chin tomeet my eyes, like he needs to see that I’m following him, that I’m on the same page he is.
“The things I want with you go deeper than casual monogamy… I want you not only as my wife, but as my submissive...” His words trail off as he studies me for any sign of discomfort.
But it isn’t discomfort I feel. Far from it actually. I feel my muscles tighten as I sit up straighter, feeling my body slowly begin to flutter back into that foggy space where the world seems to disappear.
“Are you familiar with what that means?”
I nod, my wide eyes never drifting from his.
His hand moves to cradle the back of my neck as he drags his thumb tenderly across my throat. “We’ll need to discuss your limits, though I feel like I’ve got a pretty good idea of what you want. But it’s important that you know you’re the one with the power here. Just because I’m the one calling the shots, you need to understand that you can stop me at any time, no questions asked. All you have to do is use your safe word.”
I nod again, feeling myself falling even further into that peaceful blissed-out place that only Luka has been able to bring me. My skin feels all tingly, like it’s charged with electricity, and I lean into his touch, already craving more.
His smile widens as his hands drop to my ass. He squeezes me and pulls me closer. “So is that ayes?”
I try to agree with him, but the words get stuck in my throat. I’m too aroused, too nervous that he’ll realize I’m not worth it and change his mind… So I nod, letting my eyes communicate for me. And it’s in the reflection of his emerald-green irises, the way he stares back at me like I’m the most precious treasure he’s ever seen, that I catch a glimpse of what my life was always supposed to be.
The freedom to become anyone I want. The childlike joy I feel when I’m with him. The clarity of all the things I want to experience… And the comfort and support of my best friend right beside me.
The life of my dreams has been waiting right here for me—all this time.
“Scout, baby, I need you to say something. I need to know you fully consent before?—”
