Page 101 of Don't Make Me Beg
I’m surprised by how much I don’t mind his weight on me. Actually, his warm body feels kind of nice—like having my own personal, weighted, emotional support blanket.
I probably wouldn’t feel that way if the tip of my nose wasn’t frozen. I wiggle one arm free from beneath our tangle of limbs and yank it back just as fast, before I lose a finger to frostbite.
Holy shit. It’s cold enough to hang meat in here. What the hell does he set his thermostat on? And why haven’t my eyes adjusted yet?
I blink several times as I try to look around the room and orient myself to my surroundings, but I may as well be sleeping in a dungeon underground because there’s not a single trace of light to be found. No alarm clock or light peeking in from behind the curtains, nothing to indicate what time it is whatsoever.
It takes me a moment to remember how I got here as the fuzzy memories of yesterday slowly return. I press my lips together, realizing all the painful swelling seems to be gone. I guess the Benadryl worked. And instead of letting me sleep on the couch, or carrying me to my own bed, Luka must’ve carried me upstairs to his.
Another rumble of thunder, louder this time, tells me the time doesn’t matter anyway. There’s no sense in worrying about it, because I can’t paint a mural in the rain anyway.
Thunderstorms have always been my favorite weather, probably because I’m the kind of girl who’s relieved by canceled plans. It’s not that I’m a recluse or anything, but there is nothing as good as being let off the hook, at no fault of your own. I suppose that speaks more about the pressure I feel to make everyone happy than anything else.
But what can I say, I’m a creature of comfort.
I prefer a cozy night in, snuggled up watching movies, to just about any extravagant night out. I’ll take pajamas over high heels, popcorn and pizza delivery over a gourmet restaurant, and all the lazy Saturdays at home.
The tightness in my stomach instantly melts away, and I feel my body begin to relax. I snuggle deeper into my warm, protective blanket as lust-filled memories play like a movie in my mind. I finally let myself process everything for the first time, without judgment.
I’ve dealt with my parents talking down to me my entire life, done everything in my power to avoid being talked down to or degraded… So why do I like it so much when Luka does it?
It doesn’t make sense. I’m a sensitive person. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m deeply sensitive… especially when it comes to rejection. Luka knows that.
But he’s also never tiptoed around me or been afraid to hurt my feelings if he believed it was something I needed to hear. In fact, he’s the only person in the world who’s ever treated me like I’m not a fragile piece of glass.
That’s not to say my parents were careful to spare my feelings—the exact opposite really. If anything, they seemed to enjoy cutting me down every chance they got. They wanted to keep me small. A broken person is easier to control.
Maybe it’s because deep down, I know Luka doesn’t actually believe the things he says, and that’s what makes it all so… hot. Maybe I’ll never understand the inner workings of my messed-up mind, and that’s okay. I don’t need to know why.
Luka’s created a space for me that’s not only judgment-free but so much more expansive than anything I’ve ever imagined. He’s given me structure and security, and a sense of exploration to discover what I actually desire, not just sexually but for my life as a whole.
And he’s made it seem so easy, like he’s always known what I needed, even before I even knew that there were options at all.
So rather than freaking out or judging my inner darkness for liking the fucked up things I like, I think I’ll take a page out of Luka’s book and just sit with it for a little while. Besides, nobody else has to know.
Something’s changed inside me. It’s like I’ve been walking around with this giant crack, looking for anything to fill it, but instead of filling the crack, Luka took a sledgehammer and finished the job. He smashed me wide open, broke me into pieces, then he gathered every jagged piece and rebuilt me into something stronger.
I feel that familiar heat blooming low in my belly as his body begins to stir. My body, now fully awake, unlike the unconscious man lying on top of me.
I shift to my side and slide my thigh between his and begin to wiggle my hips, the sensation of Luka’s hot skin feeling so good against my own. The darkness of the room only adds to my growing arousal as the sound of heavy rain grows louder.
“Mmm. Somebody’s wiggly,” Luka says in a low, raspy growl that melts my insides like butter. His hand snakes around my waist and pulls me in close, and I feel his hard length press against my back.
I rub my ass against him as I scoot a little closer, feeling my panties growing impossibly wetter at the sound of his frustrated groan.
“Jesus, woman, a man can only endure so much temptation…” Luka smoothes my hair away from my neck, peppering me with kisses as his hands roam over my body.
My lips pull into a satisfied smile, and my heart swells. It’s not much, but I love knowing how turned on I make him. I love how expressive he is, that he makes sure there’s never a question about the way he’s feeling. It helps knowing how much he enjoys giving, especially when I’ve only experienced the opposite.
Smiling to myself, I give my ass another, more deliberate wiggle.
“Fucking tease is what you are,” he groans, his grip tightening on my hip as he trails his fingers down my stomach, painfully slowly, before dipping them beneath the hem of my panties.
I suck in a gasp when his fingers faintly graze my clit. First, the gentle brush of his thumb, and then he deepens the pressure. His touch is gentle at first, but then it grows heavier as he strokes me with masterful precision and it doesn’t take long before I feel the first wave begin to crest.
“Jesus, baby, you’re so fucking wet,” Luka growls in my ear, his fingers picking up speed. “Such a needy little cunt you have, waking me up just to get you off.”
I let out a whimper, my legs spread wider as I grind into him, feeling my stomach tensing up.
