Page 34 of Don't Call Me Daddy
“We didn’t really have time for dancing. We got lost in conversation about climate change,” Leo quickly adds, covering my mistake.
His eyes shoot daggers at me, and just like that, he’s back to his rigid, grumpy self.
“Oh? Isn’t that romantic?” Roman laughs and claps Leo on the shoulder. “Leave it to my brother to go up to someone and woo them through intellectual conversation.”
“Oh, trust me, we didmorethan talking. We spent the entire weekend together. I could barely keep him off me, if you know what I mean. Seems Leo here got a taste of something he liked.” I nudge him in the ribs, and he grabs my arm and tucks it down by my side, holding it there when I try to squirm free.
“It wasn’t exactly the lust-filled haze Ivy’s making it out to be. We built a deep connection of respect and trust. Took things slow and long-distance for a while.” He nods his head as he looks at me, as if making sure I’m following him. “Eventually, deeper feelings grew, and Ivy decided to move here to be with me.”
I don’t miss the way Frank and Roman exchange a skeptical glance. He’s making it sound so robotic and boring, like the least romantic connection ever. It’s not believable, and even if it were, it’s not doing what he thinks it is, convincing his dad he’s not all work and no play.
I’ve got to spice things up if I want them to believe this.
“We had lots of phone sex,” I blurt out. Leo tightens his grip on my elbow, but I keep going. “Trust me when I say, this man right here knows how to dirty talk.”
“No, that’s hardly?—”
“He can bring me to orgasm without even touching my body. I’m talking the whole shebang, full-body tingles and?—”
His hand covers my mouth before I can finish, and then he’s pulling me away. “Excuse me. I just need a moment alone with my fiancée.”
He pulls me into a small bathroom down the hall and closes the door behind us. He spins me around to face him. “What the hell are you doing? I said to stick to the script!” he hisses.
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m helping you, giving them something believable!” I shove him in his hard chest, but he doesn’t even flinch. “You’re making it seem too rigid and … contractual or something. They’re not buying it, Leo. And even if they did, that’s not the type of love your dad wants for you.”
“You don’t know anything about what my dad wants ormefor that matter. I asked you to stick to the script. Why is that so hard?”
“Because I can read people, and I’m telling you, they aren’t buying it. How many years have you spent doing things your way? And how’s that working out for you?”
His jaw tics, but he doesn’t say anything.
I take a step back and cross my arms over my chest. “Let me help you. Let me make you seem fun. What’s the worst that can happen? Your dad won’t name you as his replacement?”
His nostrils flare, and he scans up my body slowly. There’s that look from before, only this time, he doesn’t hide it; instead, he stares into me so intently that I don’t know whether to move closer to him or run.
“Fine, but keep it PG. I don’t need my family knowing intimate details of my bedroom skills, whether they’re made up or not.”
A victorious smile spreads over my face, and I leap to hug him, wrapping my arms around his massive center. He stiffens for a moment, and then to my surprise, he pats me a couple of times, and it’s probably the closest thing to a hug I’ll get, but I take it as a good sign nonetheless.
“I’m going to make you look so good, just wait and see.”
“Somehow, I feel like I’m going to regret this.”
It isn’t hard to see that Leo’s uptight and takes everything too seriously, but after watching him interact with his family, I realize it’s worse than I expected. It’s like he keeps these walls up around him and doesn’t let anyone really see him.
Now, I just need to figure out why.
We’ve moved back into the living room, and someone makes an announcement over the speaker. I recognize Roman’s voice immediately.
“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for being here to celebrate the one and only Bartholomew Elvis Butterfinger Kingsley’s twenty-first birthday.”
We all clap and cheer as the lights blink several times, and a roar plays over the speaker.
“It is my great honor to introduce our main event of the evening … a magic act like no other. May I present … Siegfried and Roy!”
The lights go out, and a spotlight shines on the large cage in the middle of the room, revealing Bartholomew standing on the platform as a feather dangles from a string in front of him. Then, Leo’s two youngest brothers pop out, wearing poofy-sleeved white shirts that are unbuttoned midway down their chests.
Everyone bursts into applause and laughter when one pulls a hula hoop out from behind the cage. A light flicks on that projects a holographic flame, and we’re instructed to remain silent. The air is tense with focus and anticipation as Guy sprays a gust of catnip in Bartholomew’s face, and he swats at the spray bottle, then wiggles his butt before pouncing to attack the feather. We all try to hold back our laughter, watching them attempt to lure the old, grumpy cat through the hula hoop. Hetakes a swing at one of them every chance he gets until he finally gets fed up and jumps through the hoop.
